The Angel and the Wolf
by TragicallyMagical
Summary: REWRITE OF ANGELS AND WOLVES! For the first time in my life I felt that this thing between us, this connection, could not be taken away from me. His open arms, his comfort and adoration, were something I was always going to be guaranteed. It was the only thing I could count on in this world filled with cancer and uncertain paths that lie ahead. Embry Imprint Story!
1. Prologue

**So I said I was going to rewrite my story Angels and Wolves and this is it. This is the prologue for the story and it is similar to the original prologue in only a couple of ways. This story is still an Embry imprint story and will include the same characters created in Angels and Wolves along with a few different characters I felt would fit in with the story. The same basic story line has been kept, but I wanted to rewrite everything because the old story was written so long ago that I look at it now and dislike the way I did it all. **

**I hope you all like the prologue. :) **

**Again, this story like Angels and Wolves is going to be dedicated to my cousin, Kevin (whom the character Kevin is based off of), who died of leukemia when he was a year old. I love you Kevin.**

_Did you hear him?_

_Listen,_

_I hear an Angel deep off in the brush,_

_Howling at the moon,_

_The Wolf._

_Did you ever think,_

_Of the Wolf as an Angel?_

_God sends Angels of every form,_

_Protecting all that lives,_

_And the Wolf, _

_He is an Angel too._

_-__Tina M._

Angels are Watching Over Me

Most kids my age believe they're invincible, that they can do anything and everything and nothing bad will come of it. I used to feel the same way. I used to be a brave kid who would jump off of swing sets and hang upside down on the monkey bars. It wasn't until I was fourteen, when I received the shock of my life that I realized I wasn't invincible.

I woke up with a fever one night, not thinking much of it at the time. It had gone away about a day later after receiving some TLC from my parents. Then more symptoms started to appear. I was losing weight for no reason, I felt tired all of the time and constantly found random bruises on my skin that hadn't been there the day before. It wasn't until I had woken up with the worst headache I had ever had in my life that my parents took me to the hospital.

When I found out I had acute myeloid leukemia I didn't know what it really meant. I didn't know that the next two years of my life would be spent in and out of the hospital, being poked and prodded by doctors constantly just to try to keep me alive. It had all happened so quickly at first, one moment I was getting ready to go to high school and the next I was receiving chemo in a hospital bed. After about a month of treatment I had become hyperaware of all of it. I knew that nothing was going to be the same for me, that the days of hanging off of the monkey bars and being fearless were over. Cancer brought out fears that someone my age shouldn't even have to think about. I was afraid that I wouldn't survive the night, I was afraid that I would never get to do the normal teenage things like get my driver's license and go to prom. I was afraid that this hospital would become all I knew and that my only friends would be the doctors and nurses who took care of me. You couldn't let those fears affect you though, not when there was a high chance that those fears could become reality.

For two years I had to fight and act as if I wasn't scared. I had to watch my parents become completely immersed in my disease. Their whole lives had been turned upside down by my diagnosis, and they had gone from being carefree and fun to hovering helicopters that treated me like I was glass. I hated that it was my fault that they had changed and I hated the fact that I constantly worried about them abandoning me. I was adopted when I was only two years old, so I technically wasn't their child. Nowhere in the adoption papers did it state that they had to take care of a kid full of cancer. They could put me in a foster home at any time. I was fully prepared for it, and yet every day they stayed with me in the hospital. Every day my little brother Kevin would come into the room with his superhero action figures and play right beside me like everything was normal. They stayed with me through all of the pain, tears, bone marrow transplants, and chemo. They didn't have to love me, but they did, and their love and support is what kept me going.

They had given me strength, and when I had stared death in the face it was because of them that I was able to tell it to piss off. About a month after I had turned seventeen, Dr. Burk came into the room with a smile on his face that I had never seen before in my lifetime. I tried not to get my hopes up when he sat down in the seat across from me. Over the years, my optimism had dwindled and I only allowed myself to hope for small things. For example I always hoped that I would get pudding on my dinner tray instead of jello, and I hoped that my favorite gay nurse Ryan was taking care of me instead of Judith who couldn't crack a smile for the life of her. I was the one with the cancer and she couldn't smile…how ironic.

Anyways, Dr. Burk had come into the room and told us the news that we had all been waiting to hear. I was cancer free. At first, I didn't believe him and I laughed because I thought he was joking. Then he said it again with that same smile and I didn't have any choice but to believe it was the truth.

Everyone rejoiced at the news, and while they were rejoicing I was still trying to absorb it all. Even when the chemo stopped and sprouts of hair began to pop out of my skull I was still in shock. I couldn't figure out how to react, because I still didn't feel like I was cancer free. I had become so accustomed to being sick that I had no idea how to not be sick.

It took a couple weeks for me to finally be able to leave the hospital. When the IV was taken out of my hand for good and I was no longer hooked up to the machines I had finally allowed myself to feel something other than fear. I sat in that wheelchair with my brother in my arms and breathed in the fresh air for the first time in over two years. I would no longer have to constantly smell the disinfectant all around me. I could finally go to school and get my driver's license and go to prom.

I could live again.

The smile didn't falter as we got closer and closer to the car, my hand intertwined with my mother's. I ran my fingers through Kevin's hair over and over again and kissed him on the cheek.

He turned towards me and grinned, "Are the angels going to let you stay sissy?" he asked innocently.

I remember when he had asked me this question before in the hospital and all I could say to him was that I didn't know or I wasn't sure. Now I knew the answer. I knew that I could finally be with my family and go back to La Push like I had before the cancer.

I nodded, "Yeah," I kissed him on the cheek again, "The angels are letting me stay."

**Hope everyone enjoyed it and is willing to read more :) review if you think I should keep going!**


	2. 1 Butterfly

**Thank you to all of those amazing people who favorited/followed/reviewed the prologue and decided to give this story a chance. Like I said before I felt the rewrite was necessary because I wanted to make this story the best it could be. **

**I hope you all enjoy this chapter and will keep giving this story a chance. I had lots of fun writing this chapter :)**

**Anyways, get to reading!**

"_Just when the caterpillar thought the world was over, it became a butterfly." _

Chapter 1

Butterfly

I slammed my hand down onto the off button on the alarm clock the second it began to ring. I had already been awake for an hour or two, way too eager and nervous to get ready for my first day of school. I got out of bed easily and opened the blinds to reveal the clouds that were hanging in the sky. Droplets of rain were still running down the window from last night's storm and I watched a couple of them race down the glass before I took in the trees that lined the back of the house.

The smile that was playing at my lips would probably make every teenager around the world feel sick. While others were dreading the first day of the school year I was completely looking forward to it. It's been years since I've gone to school. I barely even remember what it was like to sit in a desk and receive homework assignments. My daily lessons at the hospital were probably nothing like the actual thing. Those lessons didn't include backpacks and classrooms and cafeterias. The Quileute Tribal School did.

I walked over to the full length mirror that hung on the back of my door and scanned over every inch of me. My hair finally reached my cheekbones, but it still wasn't long and curly like I remember it being before. My hazel eyes were wide with excitement and the freckles on my cheeks were stretched to the limit from the huge smile on my face.

This was going to be the first normal teenage experience I will have since I got out of the hospital last November. I've gone through a lot this summer just to get to this point. I did everything I could to ensure that I would be ready to go to school. I read an endless amount of books and even went for tutoring everyday just to be sure I would be at the same level as everyone else. Since I had missed so much school I would have to be held back by a year, but a year was better than two or three.

"Ali!" I heard my mother's voice travelling from the hallway and she opened the door, grinning at me with Kevin hanging on her hip, "I was just about to come and wake you up."

"You thought I could actually sleep?" I raised my eyebrow at her reflection in the mirror.

"I guess I should've known," she rolled her eyes and chuckled, "Breakfast will be waiting for you on the table after your shower."

She closed the door behind her and I was left alone with my reflection staring back at me. I let out a long sigh to try to rid myself of the nerves that were beginning to make my heart race. After I scanned over myself once more I nodded in approval at my appearance, "Day one of being a normal teenager."

I showered quickly to be sure I would have time to ensure that I looked as good as possible. First impressions were everything, and I really didn't want my ghost white skin and boyish looking hair to be what everyone focused on. I wanted people to see who I really was, not the person that cancer had made me.

I put on the dark washed jeans and light green t-shirt that I had picked out, adding on a denim jacket since La Push was hardly ever warm even in the beginning of September. The outfit gave off the casual vibe I was looking for that wouldn't really make me look stereotypical in any sense. My hair was a whole different ball game when it came to looking stereotypical. I had no idea what to do with it. It was too short to put up and do anything interesting with. I could add a headband or bow but that would make me look mousy and stupid. I could wear a beanie but that would make me look like a tomboy. I guess I would just have to hope that my hair didn't look too terrible in proportion to my round face and big eyes.

After I was finished with my hair I put on the purple Chuck Taylors my parents had bought me last week and grabbed my backpack that I had already packed up last night. The smell of bacon and grease filled my nostrils as I made my way downstairs. When I walked into the kitchen a huge spread was already sitting on the table full of eggs, sausage, and of course bacon. I couldn't remember the last time we all ate a huge breakfast like this. My dad was usually rushing to get to work while my mom almost always looking at paperwork, whether it be medical bills or some other sort of bills. This morning however, my dad was sipping a cup of coffee at the table, looking as if he was getting ready to settle in instead of head out while my mother was calmly eating her own breakfast beside him.

I kissed Kevin on the top of his head before I sat down in my own seat, my plate already made.

"What's all of this for?" I asked, looking between my mother and father.

"Well, I thought we could all start eating breakfast together from now on. It's the start of a new beginning for all of us," her face lit up as the words spilled out of her mouth. I couldn't tell you how good it felt to see her so happy. After everything I put her through it was good to see that I hadn't damaged her completely.

"I'm working on some new ideas for the shop and your mother is thinking about writing again," my eyes widened a bit at my dad's words. My mom used to write books before the cancer came in and ruined everything. She had written for as long as I can remember, her eyes always latched onto a computer screen and her fingers typing madly on the keyboard. It was what she loved to do, and she was amazing at it. I remember when she would let me read over some of her work and I would edit it a bit here and there. One of her books was even on the New York Times bestseller list, and yet she gave up her passion to take care of me. Hence one of the many reasons why I think cancer is so screwy.

"That's great," I grabbed her hand over the table and squeezed it, her russet colored skin contrasting with mine, "You have to let me read over it whenever you finish."

"I always do."

She squeezed my hand back for only a second before we both began to eat our new beginnings breakfast.

* * *

I looked up at the big decrepit building in front of me, my nerves taking control. I watched curiously as a bunch of tan, dark haired teenagers walked through the doors. In that instant, I knew that I would stand out more than I wanted to.

I gulped down the growing lump in my throat and closed the car door behind me, clenching my hands into fists to try to get them to stop shaking.

"I'll pick you up around three."

I turned back around towards the car and nodded, all of the excitement I was feeling before turning into anxiety.

"You'll be fine honey," she smiled, "I have faith in you."

I nodded again and waved a goodbye to her, watching as her car drove away. I didn't allow myself to acknowledge the stares I was getting from each person who passed by. Last night I made a promise to myself that I wouldn't show any signs of weakness while I was here, even if people were making fun of me. I was going to keep my head held high and embrace whatever was thrown my way.

My hands were clutching the straps of my backpack as I walked through the door, the only person walking in alone. I took a moment to take in the crowded hallway full of students, watching as they greeted old friends and opened their lockers, all of them studying their schedules intently.

I walked with my chin up, not making direct eye contact with anyone as I passed. When I got to the office I pulled out the form my mom had told me to hand in and waited patiently to receive everything I would need. The door behind me opened and I kept my gaze forward as the girl walked up beside me.

She greeted everyone in the office with ease and began to talk to the other student who had walked in with her. Before I could even look their way the woman behind the desk handed me the schedule. I said a quick thank you to her and began to study it just as intently as the people in the hallway.

"Hey," I looked over at the girl beside me, taking in her tan skin and dark chocolate brown hair that flowed in curls over her shoulders. Whoever she had walked in here with before was gone, "I'm Dominica."

She stuck out her hand and I shook it easily, "Alyssa," I replied.

She smiled warmly at me, "Nice to meet you. I've never seen you around before. Did you just move here?"

"No, I was just homeschooled before," I admitted, wondering if I should've just lied and said yes. I didn't know if I wanted to get into all of that just yet.

"Oh wow," she actually looked surprised, "that's different. What made you want to start going to school?"

I shrugged, "Just wanted to see what it was like I guess."

My answer didn't even cover half of the reason why I wanted to go to an actual school. I couldn't seem over eager though, I couldn't make it sound like I had a terrible disease and was finally getting back into the normality of life.

"Are you a senior?"

I stared at her for a long moment, her curiosity surprising me. I thought that it would be difficult to meet new people since I wasn't all that keen on how to make friends properly. Dominica was making it easy for me. She was showing me that I didn't exactly have to be the one that started things off, someone else could do it instead.

"Uh no, I'm a junior. I'm seventeen, but homeschooling doesn't really allow me to be at the same level."

"Damn that sucks," she puckered her lips, "It would've been cool if you were. We might have some of the same classes. There are always elective classes though."

I furrowed my brows, "Elective classes?" the term confused me.

She chuckled and laced her arm through mine, leading me out of the office and into the crowded hallway. I was no longer the center of everyone's attention now that Dominica and I were attached to each other, "They're basically classes you take outside of the basic subjects, such as art or music or gym. Let me see your schedule."

I handed it over, taking in the sights as we walked together. I had no idea where we were going, but I wasn't about to venture off on my own in this place so I stayed exactly where I was.

"Yes! We have photography together!" she exclaimed.

I couldn't help but smile at her. She was already accepting me and talking to me as if I was her friend. If this was how nice everyone was going to be then I had no doubt I would love it here.

"Nothing else though," she dragged me into a different hallway that looked similar to the last. Everyone was already grabbing their books and slamming their lockers shut. I was fascinated by all of it, "and right here is your locker," she stopped walking and let go of my arm.

I sent a smile her way, "Thanks," I said, wondering if she was going to leave me to my own devices now. She handed me back my schedule and I looked at the combination before I began to fumble with the lock. I had no idea how to open the damn thing, and Dominica just stood there watching me as I made a fool out of myself.

She didn't laugh like I thought she would and she didn't leave my side for a second. I kept questioning how she could be tolerating all of this or why she would even want to put up with a rookie like me. I was grateful for it no doubt; I just didn't think I would find someone who would take me under their wing like she already was. I thought I would be alone this first day.

After about five minutes of me failing time and time again to open the lock, she finally took over and taught me the correct way to do it. I listened to everything she told me about the basics of the school, such as where certain classrooms were and how to get to the cafeteria. When she was finishing her rundown of my classes I looked past her shoulder for a short second, noticing a group of boys at the end of the hall farthest from us.

All of them stood out like a sore thumb, with their tall frames and identical features. I watched them as they joked around with each other, pushing each other into lockers and talking like best friends would. There were three of them standing there, but there was only one that my heart leapt for.

His dark hair was cut short, and his build was slightly less muscular than the others, a bit lankier. No doubt he had muscles though. I could just see them bulging through his deep red shirt. When he smiled at something one of the others said my stomach awoke with butterflies that hadn't existed before. I couldn't tell you where all of this came from or that I had ever experienced it before. All I could say was that I was reminded of kissing Caleb, and even then the feeling of his kisses couldn't compare to this.

"Alyssa?" I felt someone's hand on my arm, and my eyes moved back to Dominica's face unwillingly.

"Sorry," I mumbled.

She looked over her shoulder and I went back to fixing up my locker, trying to act as if I wasn't affected by the group of boys I had seen.

"You don't have to feel bad, that's what every girl does when they see them."

"Feel bad about what?" That's right, play dumb.

She chuckled and rolled her eyes, "Staring at the Quileute boys. Jacob, Quil, and Embry."

Three names, and there was only one I really cared to know.

Wait no, no I didn't care. I didn't care about any of those names.

"I wasn't staring," I began to walk away from her, not exactly knowing where I was going. All I knew was that I had to get away from the sparks and the butterflies.

She was quick to follow me, "You were. Which one do you like best? Personally I think Jacob is the cutest but they're all pretty attractive-,"

"I don't think they're hot," I said, regretting the word 'hot' as soon as it left my lips.

"It's okay Ali," she had a huge smile on her face as she linked arms with me again, "Your secret's safe with me."

My eyes bugged out of their sockets and I elbowed her in the side as she continued to laugh at the blush on my cheeks.

* * *

I walked into third period, feeling overwhelmed with the amount of information I had received in just two class periods. I began to understand why everyone thought high school was so stressful. I wasn't even done with the first day and I already felt like I had gotten a month's worth of information thrown at me all at once. This definitely wasn't like being 'homeschooled'.

I sank into the desk in my calculus class and let out a deep breath as I waited for others to file into the room. I was probably going to be the only junior in this class as Dominica had told me. During my tutoring sessions over the summer I discovered that I really loved solving extremely difficult equations. Equations to me were like mazes, there were multiple paths to take but only one would lead to the exit. In math, it was the same way with only one path leading to the answer. My tutors had suggested that I take this class when I decided to enroll. I had no idea what to expect, but if it was anything like my other two classes I might be in trouble.

When the bell rang I was fully prepared to take a vigorous amount of notes and absorb all of the information my brain could handle. I had only written one number down on my notebook when my plans suddenly changed.

My heart began to palpitate against my ribs when he came rushing through the door and the butterflies began flapping their wings in my stomach once again.

"Late again Mr. Call," the teacher looked less than pleased and maybe even a bit bored. It told me that this wasn't the first time this had happened.

"Sorry, I was debating whether or not I was going to skip this God awful class."

People around me began to snicker and I noticed it was mostly girls who had found it funny. Obviously I wasn't the only girl who was captivated by him. I'm sure he has had his fair share of admirers.

I shook my head and forced myself to focus on my notebook instead of him, "Well, I cannot tell you how ecstatic I am that you decided to grace us with your presence. Now take your seat before you waste more of my time."

His footsteps were loud as he made his way through the aisle, or maybe it just seemed that way to me since it was the only thing I could focus on. I glanced beside me and almost threw up at the sight of an empty desk. Then, without warning he sat down right in that desk. In that moment I wished more than anything that my hair was longer just so that I could hide behind it.

I gripped my pencil tightly as I watched him open his notebook out of the corner of my eye. As soon as the lecture started I knew that there was no possible way for me to pay attention, at least not when he was right next to me. I wrote down what was written on the board obediently, but snuck a peek at him after each number just to be sure he hadn't disappeared.

I thought he was just taking notes until I saw his pencil begin to glide in ways that couldn't possibly form numbers. Every few seconds I would allow myself to look over at his notebook instead of him, amazed at the creatures that were taking form on the page. He bit his lip and furrowed his brows as he drew, which only made him look more attractive than he did before if that's even possible.

Throughout the whole period I watched him draw all over his notebook, not once bothering to listen to hear the teacher's explanation about limits. He didn't catch me gawking, but that was only because he hadn't looked up at all. When I took a break and looked around the room I saw that a couple of girls were glaring at me viciously, as if I was doing something wrong by staring at him, as if I was pathetic for even thinking he would consider me. So, I stopped, because it was ridiculous. These girls probably knew him better than I ever could.

When class was over he shot up out of his seat faster than the speed of light, his body a dark blur. I tried not to feel disappointed when he left, but the knot tied itself inside my gut anyways. It took a while for me to get the image of him out of my head. I spent the next class trying to convince myself that it wasn't worth it for me to obsess over him. He was way out of my league. I stood no chance against these other girls.

It wasn't until I got to lunch that I was finally able to focus on something else. Dominica introduced me to the rest of her friends at the table, and I found out that one of them, the girl named Jillian, was a junior like I was. We compared schedules for a minute and discovered that we had chemistry together. Then the four of them asked me tons of questions that kept my mind busy for the time being. I was too focused on finding ways to prevent myself from spilling out too much information to think about the unbelievably attractive boy in my calculus class. I knew that there was no reason for me to feel anxious about telling other people that I had cancer, I just didn't want them to immediately associate me with it. I wanted them to know _me_ first.

After lunch was over with, Jillian and I headed for our class and parted ways with the other three. I was able to completely forget about him during those last few classes, concentrating more on note taking than the image of his face as he drew in his notebook. When it was finally time for photography I met Dominica outside the classroom door so that we could go in together.

We entered a dark room that was full of tons of pictures hanging around various parts of the room. I sat on the stool next to Dominica and stared at each picture in awe. Some of them were images of people in both black and white and color. Others were of buildings and landscapes, and each of them was beautiful in their own way. It made the whole room look like some sort of art museum.

"I'm not all that confident in my photo taking abilities," Dominica admitted.

"Me neither," a photo of a black and white rose caught my eye, "If we suck at least we'll suck together."

"Ms. S isn't a real hard ass so I'm sure we'll be fine," she bent over and rummaged through her backpack for something while I just couldn't keep my eyes off of the picture of the rose. Even though it was a black and white photo I could picture the colors bursting out of the paper and I could practically smell the sweet scent of the flower.

A dark figure appeared in the doorway that was directly behind the photo and my gaze shifted from the rose to the person immediately. It wasn't just anyone though; it was _him_ along with one of the other guys that I had seen this morning. I gripped either side of the stool I was sitting on as tight as possible as they walked over to the two empty seats directly across from me and Dominica, which meant that they would be facing us. It wasn't enough that I sat right next to him in my other class, now I had to sit with his face in my face here too.

Ugh, why must this happen to me?

The teacher, Ms. S as Dominica called her, began her introduction by giving a basic description of what photography was and what it means to take photographs. Of course I couldn't listen when he was sitting right in front of me, and of course he didn't even look my way. I had no idea why I felt the need to look at him to be honest. It was like some part of me knew something that the rest of me didn't know. My heart was keeping secrets from my brain and forbidding any thought that did not include him in it, prohibiting any signals to be sent to my eyes that would make them look away from him. If I wasn't the one doing all the staring I would probably find it extremely creepy.

Ms. S handed each of us a camera, which made me come out of my heart's dreamland. I paid attention to the instructions on how to use the camera, but my thoughts would drift back to the nameless boy across from me every so often.

Dominica accidentally took a picture as she fiddled with the device, which caused the flash to go off, lighting up the whole room. I laughed quietly beside her as she mouthed a sorry to the teacher. She let the camera sit on the table untouched and I focused back on mine, putting it up to my face and looking through the eyepiece. When I saw the boy again his eyes were set on me, and I almost died right on the spot.

The camera was stuck to my face, my hands frozen. My heart began racing again, entering dreamland. When I was finally able to convince myself to put the camera down I looked at the table in front of me instead of at him. It was difficult to fight the signals that were trying to get me to look at him, and I had to close my eyes just so that I wouldn't do it.

For a couple of minutes I just sat there, biting my lip and keeping my eyes closed. I must've looked like I was in pain or something, and I was hoping I looked terrible enough to have him look away from me. When Ms. S told us that we would be going outside to take a few pictures I let out a relieved sigh. I heard everyone beginning to get out of their seats, which is when I decided to open my eyes again.

As soon as I did I realized that he was still staring at me, not moving or rushing out of the room like he had in calculus, just sitting there studying me. I built up enough courage to finally meet his eyes and when I did, the butterflies flapped their wings rapidly inside of me. Everything around me seemed to slow down and eventually disappeared. He smiled just the tiniest bit and my whole body began to tingle just at the sight of it. There was no way in hell I was going to look away now.

Suddenly, I felt someone lightly tap my shoulder. Then it happened again until eventually they were full on shaking my arm. I blinked and glanced in the direction of where it was coming from before I looked back at him.

"Earth to Ali," Domincia's voice rang in my ears, "Come on everyone else is already gone."

I blinked again and finally took notice to the fact that the boy and I were the only two people who didn't stand up and move for the door. His friend began to snap his fingers and wave his hand in front of his face to try to get him to focus, but to no avail. After almost the whole school day of me staring at him it was now his turn to stare at me.

"Ali! Come on!" she began to tug now and I broke eye contact with him.

"Alright, let's go," I couldn't ignore the sick feeling I got in the pit of my stomach the minute my eyes were no longer looking into his. It was making me walk slower, making me want to look back over my shoulder again. And I did, just to see his friend shaking his head hopelessly beside him, muttering something that I couldn't hear while he just watched me go.

Somehow I managed to get to the back of the school without falling apart, and that was mostly because Dominica was practically dragging me along. I kept my gaze forward when we exited through the back doors, trying to get myself to focus on reality again.

"What was _that_?!" Dominica had her camera hanging around her neck and I looked down at mine. I don't remember grabbing the camera at all.

I didn't know how to answer her question because I honestly didn't quite know what that was myself. It took me a minute to process what had just happened, to think clearly and not picture the way he smiled at me in my head.

"I have no idea," I answered truthfully.

She stood there looking dumbfounded and I grabbed my camera and snapped a random photo just so I wouldn't have to see that look on her face any longer.

"Oh my God, you like Embry Call!" she said it louder than she needed to, shout it as if it had all just clicked inside her head. It was loud enough for a couple of people to turn their heads around and look at us.

I dropped my camera and shoved her lightly, "I don't like him," I said it but I didn't believe it, because now all I could think about was his name.

Embry. It was unique and I loved the sound of it. Embry.

Ugh, she was right.

"Yeah you do I could totally see it on your face," she was beaming and I tried not to concentrate on the realization that I had just come to, "and he was practically drooling over you."

"No he wasn't," I shook my head and tried to focus on taking pictures. I kept clicking the button over and over robotically and without thinking about what I was doing. My mind allowed me to think of him and him only. It was getting a bit annoying.

"He so was," she had taken no pictures since we stepped outside, and I was starting to think that she wouldn't start anytime soon, "You should go talk to him."

I laughed, "Sure, okay," I replied sarcastically.

"Why not? Every girl wishes Embry would look at her the way he just looked at you," she sighed dramatically, which made me wonder if she was one of those girls.

"So, because he looked at me means I should go talk to him?"

"Yes! That's exactly what it means!"

I shuddered at her enthusiasm, "He was probably staring at me because I'm new. Either that or he was perplexed by the way I look…and not in a good way."

"Oh God, don't give me any of that bullshit. He probably thinks you're hot."

I took a picture of the trees across the field, a lump forming in the back of my throat, "That's what every girl dreams of, having a guy think she's hot. Gosh what an honor it would be if he actually thought I was hot."

"Your body just bleeds sarcasm doesn't it?" she asked.

I nodded, "My middle name is sarcasm actually."

"Good to know," she snapped her first picture.

I rolled my eyes and went back to picture taking, the camera glued to my face again. As I scanned the area multiple times with the camera I found something new to capture and clicked the button so it was saved on the device. When I turned around to discover more photo worthy things I saw him standing about ten feet away from us, staring again. I wondered how long he had been there for and questioned whether he had heard us talking or not.

Dominica was still turned the other way when I let my camera drop. His friend was looking between the two of us, mumbling about something and snapping pictures here and there. I allowed myself to smile a little at him before I turned again.

"I'm totally bullshitting this right now," Dominica said as she looked through the eyepiece of her camera, "If there were ever a time where I didn't know what I was doing, this was definitely it."

"I don't think there's a right or wrong way to take pictures," I replied.

"There's a right or wrong way to take_ good_ pictures though."

I opened my mouth to speak again, but the words got caught in my throat when _he_ appeared in front of the two of us, his friend tagging along beside him.

"Hi," and just the sound of his voice saying that one simple word made everything begin to blur again.

My mouth hung open in the form of a word that wouldn't come out. I was so mesmerized by him that I found it hard just to talk. He stood there and waited for me to reply, wearing a smile that made his brown eyes crease and seeming as if he was content with my silence.

I had to take a moment to collect myself before I could try to talk again. Dominica spoke for me instead, "Hi, I'm Dominica and this is my friend, Alyssa," she nudged me in their direction, which I figured was her attempt at getting me to speak to him, to Embry.

So I did, "Hi," my voice sounded so small and weak. I didn't like that it sounded that way. If there was any chance of me speaking to him I would have to cut it out and stop letting him affect me this way. I wasn't weak and I wasn't small and I wasn't about to let him think I was any of those two things.

"I'm Quil," the boy beside him said, "and this idiot here is Embry," he slapped Embry upside the head which barely seemed to do anything to him. It certainly didn't stop him from looking away from me.

I nodded and smiled, at a loss for words yet again. The four of us just seemed to stand there for a few seconds in an awkward silence. Both Quil and Dominica watched us with raised eyebrows, seeming as if they were waiting for the two of us to speak or for at least something interesting to happen. I looked over at Dominica, desperately hoping that she would give me some indication as to what to say next.

"I'm going to go take some pictures closer to the trees," and cue panic mode. She wasn't going to help me; she was going to leave me.

"That sounds like a great idea," Quil slapped Embry on the shoulders before the two of them walked away from us.

I watched as they left, internally freaking out about the fact that I was now alone with the one person I couldn't stop thinking about. Usually I was fine with talking to guys, I had always been confident around Caleb, never feeling shy or nervous to talk to him. Standing here right now with Embry made me a bit nervous though. I felt like this first one on one encounter would be crucial for me, and I couldn't stop the voices inside of me that were warning me not to screw this up. I couldn't tell you what the exact reasoning for that was.

"Is this your first year here?" I looked up at his face, and he no longer looked like he was in a haze. He looked much more relaxed, which kind of helped me to relax.

"Yeah," I held the camera up to my face again, trying to make it seem as if I wasn't totally captivated by him and his good looks and his sweet smile and his mesmerizing voice, "I used to be homeschooled."

He picked up his own camera and snapped a picture, "Homeschooled? Really?"

I nodded in response and began to walk a bit, and he didn't miss a beat as he did the same, our steps practically in sync.

He waited for me to elaborate on the subject, but I didn't know how to do it without dropping the cancer bomb on him. Once he realized I wasn't going to say much more he pushed on with more questions, "So, you've never actually been to school before?"

"Nope," I said simply. I was handling things better than I thought I would. With the way my insides were feeling I didn't think I could pull it off, "I've always wanted to go, I just…" no I couldn't say that.

"You just?"

I shrugged, "Never mind."

He chuckled and shook his head which confused me. If anything I thought he would've asked again, "Do you like it so far?"

I took another picture of the sky above our heads, "Yes, it's really great. I've never been in a classroom before and I've never gone to actual classes, so it's refreshing. Homeschooling is downright boring and just terrible all around."

He smiled brilliantly, "I've never heard anyone describe high school as refreshing before."

"Well, it is," I let my camera hang around my neck as we kept walking. A few people stared at the two of us but I ignored the stares, "when you're confined...it's good to get back out into the real world."

"Confined?" he questioned.

Now he probably thinks I've been to prison. See what happens when I try to beat around the bush, "Not confined exactly, just…stuck I guess. Stuck with things you don't want to have and stuck in places you don't want to be."

Oh yeah, I'm just a master at beating around the bush. I had just made it all worse. Not only does he probably think I've been to prison, he probably thinks I'm a psychopath too. So much for not screwing this up.

"So you like high school then."

"Yeah," I shook my head and hung it in shame, "that's what I'm getting at."

I started blushing when he began to stare at me again. I figured he was only staring now because he thought I was strange and was trying to figure out a way to end the conversation without hurting my feelings. No doubt I had just made a fool out of myself.

"I've never liked it. I despise it actually."

I looked over at him in confusion, beginning to wonder why he was doing this at all. Obviously every girl was pining after him in the school. The glares that I've gotten in the past two minutes confirmed that the other girls wanted to be in my position. So why weren't they? Why was I the one he chose to talk to?

Maybe he does talk to the other girls and I just haven't seen it yet. It's my first day and I didn't know him. I wouldn't put it past him to talk to those girls. He was a guy after all and I wasn't all that attractive. He was probably just trying to be nice.

That didn't mean I wanted to stop talking to him, "Why don't you like it?" I asked.

He put his hands in his pockets and his elbow lightly brushed mine. That short second of contact made me shiver.

"For one thing I hate grades. I'm fine when it comes to projects and homework assignments, but I'm a terrible test taker and when it comes down to it the tests always outweigh the rest. So I just think that's a load of bull. If that wasn't the case I know I could be getting better grades than I do now," I listened intently to his rant, "Plus the people here suck. The thing about high school is you can never escape the drama. People love drama. And the teachers? They find great pleasure in degrading their students."

I raised my eyebrows in surprise, "Well that makes me feel really great about my decision to go here."

"Sorry, I didn't mean to discourage you. I just thought you should know what you're getting yourself into."

A light laugh escaped from my lips, "If it's really that bad, then maybe I should just go back to being homeschooled."

He grinned, "I can't let you do that."

"Why not?" I craned my neck so that I could get a good look at him.

"Because I've been looking for someone to suffer through the rest of high school with and I think you're just the person I need."

"You want me to be your suffer buddy," I stated.

"Exactly."

I smiled widely up at him and he smiled back at me. We finally stopped walking and began to stare at each other again with the same intensity that was present before. I took the time to memorize each of his features, concentrating on each one for a second before moving onto the next. My main focus was his warm brown eyes. Just looking into them made me feel safe, like anything could happen around us and I would be fine just because I was looking at them.

He was definitely good looking, much more so than any of the other guys I've seen at this school. He was practically the definition of dark, tall, and handsome. It definitely made sense that all of the girls liked him. I found myself liking him too.

This time it was him who broke the eye contact and I had to turn my head so he wouldn't see the redness in my cheeks. He raised his camera and kept it focused on me. Before I knew it the flash went off and I blinked in surprise. It took me a moment to realize what he had just done and I looked at him, feeling completely horrified.

"What was that?!" I exclaimed.

He chuckled, "The whole point of photography is to capture something that you find beautiful. I was just trying to capture a beautiful thing."

If my cheeks weren't red before they definitely were now, "You must say stuff like that to all the girls here. Now I understand why they're all obsessed with you."

"No, I usually just use my good looks to my advantage. I break necks every time I walk down the hallways. It's tragic really; the ladies simply cannot resist this face."

Everything he had said was probably true even if he had only meant it as a joke. I decided to play along with him anyways.

"Oh, he's charming _and _full of himself. You, sir, are what they call a diamond in the rough."

He sighed dramatically, "I really am," he snapped another picture of me out of the blue.

I grabbed my own camera and took a picture of him, which caused him to laugh, "The whole point of photography is to capture something you find ugly so that you can use Photoshop to try to make it look less ugly," I mocked him, trying to deepen my voice to sound more like his.

"Wow how nice of you. Taking my compliments and turning them on me."

"Do you think all the guys will find me attractive now? It seems like it works well enough for you," I clicked the camera again and he did the same.

"Does it count if I find you attractive?" he asked, his tone sounding much more serious than it had just a second ago.

His question made my stomach flip continuously inside of me and caused my heart to beat at a much more rapid pace. I wasn't really big on compliments that were directed my way. I would always deny what the other person had said and go on with my day. This question that was more of a compliment than anything else could not be ignored, and could not be rejected so easily.

"Yeah, it counts," I said quietly.

His smile grew wider, "Then yes, I think it'll work just fine for you."

We went on like this for the rest of the class, snapping pointless pictures of each other and goofing around. It was probably the most fun I've had in a long time. It wasn't until Ms. S told us all that we had to go back that we stopped. The two of us reluctantly walked back towards the school, nudging each other playfully the whole way there.

Dominica and Quil met up with us back in the dark room and I tried my best to ignore the very smug look on Dominica's face as I packed all of my things into my backpack. Ms. S told us all that we would be keeping the cameras for the rest of the semester, warning us that we would have to pay for a new one if we didn't return them in perfect condition by the end of the year. After class was dismissed, Embry immediately came over to me and walked with me out of the room.

I noticed that he was holding the same notebook he had in calculus before, and I decided to bring up what I had seen to him as we walked through the hallway, "I like your drawings," I said.

"What?" he seemed taken aback.

"I said I like your drawings. I saw them in calculus and thought they were pretty good."

"Wait, you're in my calculus class?"

I tried not to make it look like his question affected me, "I sit right next to you."

"Shit," he seemed to be thinking hard about something, like he was trying to remember anything about me being in that class, "You actually saw those?"

I nodded, "They're good, really good."

"Thanks," I could've sworn I saw his cheeks turn the tiniest shade of pink, but it could've easily been my mind making things up, "I can't believe you're in my calculus class."

"Why is that so hard to believe?"

He shrugged, "I just thought I would've noticed you sooner."

I half smiled at him, "The fact that you noticed me at all is pretty impressive."

**So what did you think? **

**I made this chapter very long, which is kind of how I've been doing it with my other story In Too Deep. I think the longer chapters are best because it gives you more to read and tie you over until the next update. I hope you all liked the length. **

**I'm so glad I am writing this imprint story over again. I love Embry's personality and I think it showed a bit near the end of the chapter. **

**There were a couple places where a new character was introduced (barely but he was still introduced) named Caleb. The story of Caleb will be given in later chapters. I think that adding this character into this new story will give Alyssa more depth than I had given her in Angels and Wolves. I did make her a bit more confident this time around than I did in Angels and Wolves. I wanted her to be a bit spunky. That will show more in chapters to come.**

**Oh yeah and in the prologue I changed it so that she was seventeen instead of sixteen. I think it's just better that way for the story.**

**So please review/follow/favorite to let me know what you thought of this chapter and whether you liked the length or not. :) **

**Thank you all again for your support for the prologue! It is what motivated me to get this chapter finished.**


	3. 2 Surprises

**I'm really liking the way everything is turning out for this story. Hopefully all of you do too. I know it is just the beginning, but I already feel good about where this is heading. I am also really getting into writing a lot lately. **

**I hope everyone is interested in this as much as I am. Well, probably not AS much, but interested in it in some way. **

**So a lot is introduced in this chapter that will be very different from Angels and Wolves. I hope everyone is embracing the changes. If not then oh well. **

**Anyways read on! :)**

_"Life asked Death, "Why do people love me and hate you?"_

_Death replied, "Because you are a beautiful lie and I am a painful truth.""_

Chapter 2

Surprises

I couldn't stop grinning on the ride home from school. Mom probably thought I had lost it since I was staring at my palm like it was the most fascinating thing in the entire world. The only reason why it was so fascinating was because of the phone number that was scribbled on it in black ink. Embry had written it on my hand while he waited for my ride to pick me up. He seemed so disappointed that he couldn't walk me home, but I promised him that he could tomorrow. And yet I still felt like that would be too much time spent without seeing him. I was pathetic.

"Okay you definitely have to tell me what happened today," my mom asked as she drove.

I ran my finger over my palm and stared out the window as I explained everything to her from meeting Dominica to how my classes were and how much I enjoyed photography already. I talked about everything I saw and described each of my teachers to her, smiling the whole time I spoke. I told her about Embry after everything else, and showed her my hand excitedly. She didn't seem nearly as fascinated by it as I was and wasn't nearly as thrilled as she had been when I talked about my classes or the friends I had made. A look of concern seemed to flit across her face, and I sank back into my seat when I realized why it was there. When we pulled into the driveway both of us unbuckled our seatbelts without making any attempt to get out of the car.

My eyes travelled their way to the window again because I couldn't look at her when she talked about it. I couldn't stand to see the worry in her eyes, and as I waited for her to begin I regretted ever mentioning Embry. Even though I didn't quite know how I felt about him I knew that she would connect any guy I ever talked to right back to Caleb.

"Ali," my mom placed her hand on my knee and I crossed my arms over my chest to keep myself together. I wasn't expecting to talk about this. Not at all.

"I'm okay. Really, I am."

It didn't seem to convince her one bit, "Are you sure?"

I rested my forehead up against the glass, welcoming the cold feeling, "It's been almost a year."

She squeezed my knee to try to comfort me. I didn't want the comfort. I didn't need it. I was dealing with it all, moving on.

"I know it has, and you've been so strong," I closed my eyes to prevent the tears from falling, tightening my arms around my torso as if it would soak up the salt water, "Do you think you're ready for something like that again?"

That was the last thing I thought she would say to me.

I looked at her over my shoulder with my eyes narrowed, "It's not even the same mom. I just met Embry today. It's been one day, that doesn't mean it will lead to anything at all."

"I just don't want you to get hurt."

"We're just friends," I gritted my teeth, "I thought you wanted me to move on. I thought you wanted me to be normal."

She nodded, "I do, I just don't want you to jump into anything too quickly."

"I'm not breakable anymore mom. You don't have to treat me like I am."

"Honey, I know-,"

"Then why are you doing this?!" my voice was much louder than I intended it to be, and I sounded much angrier than I actually felt, "Why do you always have to bring it up?"

"You loved Caleb," she said quietly.

And I did love him. I loved him right up until the end, which was probably my biggest downfall. I should've known better than to love someone who was going to die.

"I did, but he's gone. I'm learning to let go," I grabbed my backpack from in between my legs and opened the door, "and you should learn how to let me."

* * *

_I was practically in tears as I waited for my few hours of hell to begin. It was stupid, but I couldn't help myself. This was my first chemotherapy session and everything I have ever heard about chemo before has not been good. The nausea, the fatigue, the pain as they injected the poison, it was all pointing towards impending doom. I bit my nails as I looked around the room at all of the people who were in the same position as I was. It wasn't until my eyes landed on the boy next to me that I stopped. He was already into his session and looked to be around my age, which made me feel like I wasn't so alone in this in a way._

_With half open eyes, he looked at me and smiled, "First day?" _

"_Is it that obvious?" I grinned sheepishly._

_He nodded, a bed of sweat visible on his forehead, "You look like you're ready to puke."_

_I shook my head at him, "Ironic since they haven't even given me anything yet."_

_I heard him laugh for the first time and was immediately enthralled by the sound. In this terrible place, and in the position he was in he still managed to laugh. The sound of it made me feel a bit better, comforted me. If he could laugh during chemo then maybe it wouldn't be as bad as I thought._

_I took in his features when I finally managed to stop destroying my nails. His blonde hair was cut short, and I noticed a few bald patches here and there on his scalp. Even with his eyes barely open I could tell they were blue, the color was striking. He had a square jaw that had been clenched the whole time, the only thing about him that indicated he was uncomfortable._

_He held his hand out for me to shake and I did it immediately, "I'm Caleb."_

"_Alyssa," I smiled at him, "So be honest with me, how good are the cocktails here?"_

"_The best," he said sarcastically, "In fact, you're just in time for happy hour."_

Caleb died last November from gastric cancer. They had done the chemo and radiation in the beginning and eventually took out his stomach to try to remove it. After his stomach was removed it all went downhill from there. The cancer mestasized into his liver before it moved into his lymph nodes. He had died a couple weeks before I found out that I was in remission, which was awful. It was the best news of my life, and I had received it right after hearing the worst news of my life. It was one of the reasons why I found it so difficult to be happy. I couldn't be happy if he was dead. It was wrong.

I laid on my bed and stared at the pictures that were all pinned to the cork board on the wall directly across from me for a long time. My eyes would go from one to the next repeatedly. These were all of the pictures I had of the two of us, the only reminders I have left of him. I wondered why I still kept them when I claimed that I was moving on. Would it not be the most logical thing to just throw them away? If I wanted to let go wouldn't I have to get rid of those pictures?

I always felt conflicted when it came to this. A small part of me wanted to do it, while the rest of me thought that it was good to keep them around. I always decided against getting rid of them in the end. This time was no different.

As my eyes moved from left to right I thought about how our whole relationship had occurred in a hospital. We talked during chemo sessions and laughed with each other while watching daytime television, we went on 'dates' in each other's hospital rooms and in the courtyard, we kissed in a tangle of tubes and wires. We were brought together by our disease and we were torn apart by it.

We would never know each other outside of cancer. It will always be the one thing that connects us, no matter how morbid and messed up that sounds.

I've come to terms with it all though. I've learned to deal with the facts and cherish the time I did spend with him. There's no point in focusing on all of the bad things. There's no reason to sit and cry and be angry at the world and whatever higher power there is out there for not allowing him to live a long and happy life. None of it would bring him back. His fate had been decided a long time ago.

As I thought about what my mother had said to me in the car I realized that even though I was no longer sick and even though I had spent the last nine months in remission she would never stop worrying. She was always going to be analyzing everything I did, hovering over me. She was going to do and say anything to make sure that she didn't lose me like she almost did when I was sick, when the high percentage of blast cells in my bone marrow had nearly killed me. She felt helpless while I was sick, it was obvious, and now that she could finally protect me the way she wanted to she was going to do it to the highest extent.

I could understand her side of things, but I knew she didn't have to protect me from Embry. I've had one conversation with him and I could already tell that he was good to the core. There was no chance of it ever getting to that point though, because the two of us would never become anything more than just friends. There was no way I could love someone with the thought of cancer constantly looming over my head. I was in remission, but the possibility of it returning would always be there. I was sick once, so I could become sick again. There was no way I could put someone through that sort of pain, especially someone as good as Embry.

Before I could even think of anything else my phone began to ring on the table beside my bed. I opened my eyes and snatched it up off the table. When I saw the name Amaya flashing across the screen I had to take a deep breath, letting all of my previous thoughts go as I exhaled.

I put a smile on my face as I answered, "Hey utsukushii," I waited for her to get pissed.

"Ali you nitwit! How do you manage to always butcher that word even after I've told you ten million times how to say it? Its pronounced ooh-tsoo-koo-shee not uh-tuk-sushi!"

I began laughing as she blabbered on and on about the Japanese language and how she doesn't understand why she even teaches me these words and how I could never become bilingual. I always did this to her when she called, pronouncing the word so many different ways that I couldn't even count. It always managed to make her angry, which always made me laugh. It was hard to ever feel intimidated when she was mad since she was barely five feet tall and looked about as innocent as a child with her almond shaped eyes and porcelain skin.

Amaya was my best friend, who I had been introduced to in the hospital a year and a half ago by Caleb. At the time that we met, Amaya had a tumor the size of a golf ball in her brain. The tumor was pressing against her frontal lobe, which caused her to have extreme mood swings. When Caleb had brought me into her room that first day he warned me about her, telling me that she usually got irritated when someone new came by. I went in and met her anyways. All I really had to do was tell a few jokes and use my sarcasm to get her to crack a smile. From then on the three of us were inseparable, and even after Amaya had surgery on her brain and the tumor was removed and she had gone home she still came back to visit Caleb and me. She was there for the two of us, sitting with us during chemo and visiting all the time. Even when Caleb died she was there for me.

Unfortunately, the doctors had recently discovered a few nodules in her brain again. She was currently stuck in the same position I had been in a year ago.

"Okay, while I would like to lecture you more on how to properly speak Japanese that's not the reason why I called."

"Really? It isn't?" I smiled at the ceiling.

"Oh shut up! Just tell me how your first day was!"

I let out a short laugh before I explained it all to her in detail just as I had to my mom before, leaving out the part about Embry until the very end and including the amount of staring that went on which I had left out when I told my mom. She let out a few squeaking noises when I finished with everything, which made me cringe a bit.

"On a scale from one to ten how hot is he?"

I slapped my palm onto my forehead and sighed, "Amaya," I groaned.

"Alyssa," she mocked my tone, "come on you have to tell me," she coughed a couple of times on the phone, "or else I might die before you get another chance."

"That's not funny," I said seriously.

She made an annoyed sound on the other end, "I don't care. I'm sick and stuck in a hospital bed and the best form of entertainment I have right now is guessing which nurse is going to pass my door next. It's pathetic and all I want to know is how hot this Quileute boy is."

"Alright fine," I rolled my eyes, not even having to think about my answer, "He's definitely a ten, but he's not just hot, he's completely gorgeous."

She squealed, "I can't believe this! Your first day of high school and you already have guys lining up to date you."

"He doesn't want to date me. We talked all of one time."

"And what happened during this conversation?"

I paused for a moment, knowing what she was going to say once I told her. I debated whether or not it was a good idea.

"Watashi ni kotaeru kitsunemimi!"

I rolled my eyes at the Japanese gibberish she spewed at me through the phone. The only word I recognized was the nickname she always called me by because of the color of my hair, fox girl. I always disliked it, which is what seemed to make her like it even more.

She began to shout in Japanese continuously and I pulled the phone away from my ear so that I wouldn't get irritated. I hated that she knew exactly how to push my buttons, and shouting in a language I didn't understand was one of the things that always pissed me off.

Finally, I decided to just give her what she wanted, putting the phone back up to my ear and shouting, "Ok I'll tell you! I surrender! Just shut up!" She went completely silent, and I could slightly hear her snickering on the other end, "Bitch."

"Hey, you can't call me a bitch I have cancer!"

I pursed my lips, "You are really good at playing the cancer card aren't you?"

"Just because you never used it to your advantage doesn't mean I can't. Don't try to change the subject! What did you talk about?"

"School," I answered, "then we talked about photography and his drawings and various other things," I coughed, "and," cough, "he," cough, "gave," cough, "me his," gasp for breath, "number."

"What?! And you say this kid doesn't want to date you."

I smiled and raised my palm in front of my face, staring at the smeared ink on my hand, "We're just friends, barely even that."

"Sure," she sounded way too smug, "you're coming by on Saturday right?"

I blinked a few times to clear my Embry infested brain, "Yeah, of course."

"Good, then we can talk about it then. I'm sure he'll ask you out by the end of the week."

"Amaya, I'm serious. I can't even think about dating anyone right now," the words felt wrong when I said them. It felt like my heart and my head were not agreeing on that at all. Then again, my heart and my head haven't been agreeing on much of anything lately.

"Why? Because of Caleb?" she didn't even hesitate to say his name. She had always been the stronger one out of the two of us. While I fell into a depression after he had died she had been the one that helped pull me out of it, despite the fact that she had lost him as much as I had.

"No," I shook my head and groaned, "I don't know partially I guess. He's just too good, way too good for someone like me. Every girl in that school is head over heels for him, and I…I'm just…"

"A girl who had cancer," she finished for me.

It was more than that though. There's always the possibility that the cancer could come back. It's something that I fear will happen to me. The reason I didn't correct her was because I knew it would make her feel terrible, since that's exactly what happened to her. She had cancer, it went away, and then it came back. It could happen to me too. I didn't want to get involved with someone when there was always a chance of that.

"With Caleb it was simple. We were both on a level playing field."

"Yeah," she agreed, the weakness in her voice showing for the second time, "You remember that guy I was dating when I first met you?"

I chuckled, "The guy I nicknamed death breath?"

It was her turn to feel embarrassed, "It wasn't that terrible!"

"Says the one who fed him mints every time she saw him."

The two of us laughed at the memories for a couple of minutes, and after our laughing fit was finished she went on, "Anyways, we had been dating before I found out about the tumor. We were at a level playing field when the two of us met. You remember when we broke up right?"

I nodded, "Yes," I remembered it all too well. He had broken up with her only a day after she told him about the tumor. He said that he wanted to focus on school and baseball and couldn't have a girlfriend at the time, which was total bullshit. All of us knew the real reason why he did it.

"That's what horrible people do to you Ali. They let you go as soon as things get bad. The thing about death breath was that I knew it wouldn't last, and I knew nothing would come of it in the end. I just kept it going because it felt good to have someone you know?" I hummed in agreement, "What I'm trying to say is that it's easy to tell who's going to stick by you when things turn to shit and who's going to leave you in the dirt to rot. It's the ones who surprise us most that stick by our sides, because they defy everything we have become accustomed to. The ones who are predictable are the ones who run, because they obey our everyday routine."

I took a moment to absorb what she was saying to me, trying to understand what it all meant. Those who do the unexpected are the ones who stay; those who do what we expect them to are the ones who leave. Caleb had cancer, he was sick and there was a lot that pinpointed to his demise. The result of our relationship was one that I could've predicted from the beginning. He died, which was in its own way him leaving me.

"Did you read that off of a website or something?" I asked.

She gasped overdramatically, "I am so hurt that you think I can't come up with something like that on my own. You're just jealous."

"Yeah, I really am."

"You know I'm right though," she said seriously, "Death breath did everything I knew he would do. He left me in the dirt, but I'm fine with that, because I knew it was going to happen. I was expecting it from him," I rolled onto my side and looked at the pictures on the cork board as I listened to her, "So now it's your turn to figure these things out. If Embry is like every other guy out there then you'll know and you won't have to waste your time. If not, then just be ready for a whole bunch of surprises."

She had no idea that Embry already had surprised me just by choosing to talk to me today. If what Amaya was saying was true, then things were not going to be simple when it came to Embry Call.

* * *

I managed to fall asleep for about a half an hour after dinner. The only reason why I woke up was because Kevin decided to come into my room and continuously poke my cheek. At first I acted as if I wasn't affected by it, but then he persisted to poke me and eventually began chanting 'sissy' right next to my ear.

I opened one eye before I closed it again, which caused him to giggle in response. I did it again and he laughed once more. The chanting suddenly stopped when I finally opened my eyes for good and he smiled at me in a way that always made my heart melt. He was wearing his spider man pajamas and clutching onto his baby blanket, which indicated that he had already gotten a bath and it was probably close to seven by now.

"Can I lay with you?" he whispered.

I nodded and scooted over a bit as he climbed his way into my bed. I snuggled right up next to him and buried my face in his baby shampoo filled hair. He didn't lie still for too long and ended up turning so that he was facing me, his brown eyes looking a bit droopy.

"Aren't you tired?" I asked him.

"No," he scrunched his nose, "I want to stay awake."

I smiled, knowing that he would say that. Lately he had been coming in here right before his bedtime, falling asleep beside me. All I had to do was hum a bit and run my nails back and forth along his arm to get him to drift off. This time was no exception.

Once I knew he was in a deep sleep I picked him up in my arms and carried him into his own bed. I tucked him underneath the sheets and kissed him on the forehead before I headed back to my room. As soon as I walked through the door I noticed that my phone was vibrating and lighting up on my dresser where I had left it. When I grabbed the phone and saw the number on the screen I nearly died.

It was the same number that I had been staring at on my hand all day long, and even though I didn't have the opportunity to put his name into my contact list I knew it was him. I already had his number memorized, which was pathetic.

I flopped down on my bed and took a deep breath before I answered the call, "Hey." I said, trying not to freak out about the fact that I was actually talking to him again.

"What's your favorite color?"

The question caught me off guard, and the sound of crickets filled up the room from my lack of a response, "Uh, what?"

"What's your favorite color?" he asked again.

I rutted my brows, "Purple I guess."

"You guess? You can't guess what your favorite color is, you just have to know."

I was completely bewildered by how this conversation was starting off, "Okay fine, it's purple. Definitely purple. Everything purple is great and wonderful."

He laughed, he actually laughed, "Purple it is."

My eyes darted around the room when all I heard was a bunch of mumbles from his end, "Why are you even asking?"

"Favorite flower?" he ignored my question completely.

"Um, roses," the confusion was written all over my face.

"Alyssa," my heart stuttered when he said my name, "really? Roses? That's the most cliché shit I've ever heard."

Even though I didn't understand anything that was happening I decided it would be best to just play along, "Not those kinds of roses. There are so many different species of roses in the world and everyone assumes there's only one. It's so offensive."

"So what type of roses do you like?"

"I like Chinese tea roses," I said, "because they actually smell like tea."

"Really?"

"Mhm," I couldn't keep the smile off of my face as I spoke, "so why are you asking me what my favorite color is and what my favorite flowers are?"

"Favorite shape?" he asked.

"Shape? Who asks people what their favorite shape is?"

"I do," he said it so nonchalantly, like I was stupid for not asking everyone that question.

"Well this is going to have to take some thought," I tapped my chin as if I were thinking hard about what I would say, "I like hexagons."

"Hexagons?"

"Yeah, hexagons. They're like wannabe stop signs."

He laughed again, the sound like music to my ears, "That's actually pretty accurate."

I let out my own little chuckle, feeling more comfortable each second I was on the phone with him. Talking to him was easier than I thought it would be. After how badly my heart was freaking out just from seeing his number on my phone I didn't think I could actually pull it off. I guess since Embry's choice of topic wasn't all that intimidating I didn't have to feel apprehensive about what he would think about what I was saying to him.

"What's your favorite shape Embry?"

Finally, he answered one of my questions, "Circle."

"Why is that?" I asked.

He didn't even hesitate when he responded, "Because circles are infinite, whereas every other shape has sides that end at a certain point. Circles are pretty badass if you ask me."

"I don't think people usually describe circles as being badass."

"Well, they are," he replied, most likely smirking right now, "Have you looked through your pictures yet?"

I had to think for a moment before I responded, his quick change in subject catching me off guard just as his beginning choice of topic had. I had almost forgotten about the small assignment Ms S. had given us to have done by the end of the week, which included picking a few of our pictures we had taken in class so that we could develop them, "No not yet," I moved to the edge of the bed and got up to get the camera, "she said we have to choose four right?"

"Yeah, four. I can't seem to choose which ones I like though."

I laid on my stomach on top of the mattress, putting the phone on speaker as I turned on the camera, "What did you take pictures of?"

He muttered a single word on the other line that I couldn't quite hear, "What?"

There was just silence on his end.

I grabbed my phone to be sure that he didn't hang up or I didn't accidentally press anything. As I was examining the phone he spoke again, clearer this time, "You."

The phone slipped out of my hands and hit the floor with a loud thud. I thought that my heart might've burst, because it seemed as if I was in some state of shock. It took me a bit of time to finally process what all of this meant, and the horror of the situation caused my cheeks to turn red, beet red.

"Are you still there?" I heard his voice coming from the floor and I reached down and picked up the phone immediately.

"You idiot! Those were a joke! You can't use me for your project! That's gross and disgusting and UGH! Just delete those pictures! Delete them now!"

Instead of him cooperating with me like I expected him to do he just laughed instead, "There's no way in hell I'm deleting these."

I wanted to punch him so bad, "Embry! I hate you! I really do!"

"No you don't," I heard him gasp, "I'm definitely using this one!"

"Hey!" I screamed, "Stop that you pervert."

"How am I a pervert?"

"You took pictures of me without my consent and now you're looking at them, alone in your room like a pervert!"

He continued to snicker at me, "You sound really cute when you're mad."

I didn't know what to say back to him, I was too furious to respond, or at least that's what I had forced myself to believe. I think I was baffled by his unexpected compliment more than anything though.

_Surprises, _I thought, remembering what Amaya had told me.

I stayed quiet as he continued to embarrass me by commenting on the pictures, the compliments being thrown at me left and right. My cheeks were practically on fire at this point, and I'm sure if my parents came into the room right now they would take me to the hospital because I probably felt like I had a fever.

I tried my best to come up with something that would make him stop. Anything would do at this point. The light bulb suddenly went off, flashing madly from the simple solution.

"Bye Embry," and I hung up the phone without another word.

My heart began to sink more and more from the disconnection. I grabbed my pillow from behind me and smashed my face into it, screaming loudly to let out my frustration. It wasn't exactly frustration towards him, mostly frustration towards myself for reacting the way I did, because I didn't understand why he made me feel this way. Why _he_ could make me feel so good about myself and feel so insecure all at the same time and still have me yearning to spend every moment feeling that way. I didn't understand why I felt invisible strings beginning to tug at me the moment his voice had disappeared. Why oh why did Embry Call have this effect on me?

I could hear the phone begin to vibrate on the bed and I allowed myself to smile even though it seemed like my lips were wobbling in protest. He was going have to wait until tomorrow to talk to me. I was going to give him the cold shoulder the rest of the night just to make him think that I was really angry, which would hopefully get him to delete those pictures.

He called four times and I ignored each one of them as my curiosity got the best of me and I began to look through my camera. I wasn't going to lie, I stopped for about five minutes on each of the ones I took of Embry. I couldn't help myself, because really it was just payback for what he was doing to me. Ok, it really wasn't, I was only doing it because I was mesmerized by his gorgeousness, but I will never openly admit that…

It wasn't until I was already settled to go to sleep that he resorted to sending me an endless amount of text messages.

**You have a pretty smile.**

**I think you should text me back so we can talk about how great you look in these pictures.**

**We should Photoshop the pictures we took of each other so that it looks like we're in them together.**

**Hey! I'm going to delete the pictures! You should call me now!**

**Just kidding I'm not deleting them. You should call me now!**

**I'm just going to keep texting you so you can't sleep.**

**H**

**I **

**A**

**L**

**Y**

UGH! That jerk!

**S**

**S**

Nope, I'm not going to give in.

**A**

**!**

**:)**

I turned my phone off after receiving the smiley face, feeling a bit smug for no particular reason as I fell asleep.

* * *

My palms felt a bit sweaty as I waited for him to walk into calculus. I had to wipe them on my jeans several times because of how gross it was. My eyes stayed glued to the doorway as I gnawed on my cheek because of how nervous I was. I had been freaking out all morning about seeing him again, because I kept thinking that he would be angry with me for ignoring him instead of it being the other way around. It shouldn't hurt if he did ignore me. It shouldn't hurt at all, but it would. I knew for sure that it would.

Finally, about thirty seconds before the bell rang he strolled through the door, looking straight at me as he walked to his desk. I barely noticed that all the other girls were ogling him just like I was, but he wasn't looking at any of them. He was only looking at me, and I kept wondering why.

He slid in the seat beside me and sent a crooked smile my way, which made my anxiety about him being angry with me falter completely. He didn't have a chance to say anything to me before Mr. Collier began his lecture.

I kept my head turned towards the front of the class, writing pointless things in my notebook to make it look like I was paying attention. In reality, all I could concentrate on was the fact that he was less than ten feet away from me.

Before I could write anymore meaningless numbers on my notebook page, Embry's hand was on my desk, dropping a piece of paper in front of my eyes. I looked down at it before I looked over at him.

"Open it," he mouthed the words so he wouldn't be heard.

I peered up at the front of the room to be sure Mr. Collier wasn't looking before I unfolded the paper. On it was a beautifully intricate drawing of a Chinese tea rose with swirls of purple in the background, mixed with a bit of blue. It was nearly perfect, right down to the proper shading of each petal as the flower bent towards the non-existent light on the page. The color in the background made the white rose pop, making it look even more amazing than it would have without it.

A crumpled up piece of paper was thrown on my desk and I immediately opened it, seeing a sketch of a hexagon.

_**And here's a drawing of your favorite shape.**_

I had to cover my mouth to stifle the laugh that was travelling its way up my throat, which caused a couple of people to turn and stare at me.

I ignored their questioning gazes and grabbed my own piece of paper out of my notebook, drawing a circle that looked more like an egg than anything else.

_**Your flower was good, but the hexagon is amazing. You have a knack for drawing shapes. Here's a drawing of a badass circle.**_

I glanced at the front of the room, throwing the piece of paper at him without looking away from Mr. Collier's back.

As he read over my note a wide grin spread across his face to the point where two dimples pinched either sides of his mouth. He started to scribble on another piece of paper and I wrote a couple numbers in my notebook. I felt like a kid all over again, passing notes back and forth in class. I felt rebellious, even though it was something so simple. I felt carefree and extremely happy to be having secret conversations with Embry in the middle of our calculus lecture.

When another paper appeared on my desk I unrolled it without hesitation.

_**That's a terrible circle. It's not badass at all. By the way, I deleted those pictures.**_

I rolled my eyes, writing on the same paper he used.

_**LIAR! **_

I waited a few seconds for the paper to appear again, barely looking up this time around.

_**Maybe I am, maybe I'm not. The only way you'll know is if you see for yourself, which can only happen if you agree to hang out with me after school.**_

My fingers grasped the piece of paper tightly, causing it to rip in two. I looked over at him for a moment, noticing that he was staring back at me with a glimmer of hope in his eyes. When I started to write another response I felt my heart begin to race, and could just hear the sound of Embry's laughter beside me. I wondered if it was hammering so loudly that even he could hear it.

_**Okay, sure. Then I can show you all of the great pictures I took of you. **_

I noticed that he looked a bit flushed when he read that note over. I didn't know it was possible for someone like him to get embarrassed. With how cocky he had been acting I didn't think that underneath that would be a guy who wasn't exactly as confident as he had led on to be. I found it extremely cute. It surprised me to see him that way to say the least.

_Surprises._

My lips were formed into a grin as I looked back at the drawing he had given me. I still couldn't believe that he had drawn that. Something told me that not many people knew he was so good at it. I silently hoped that I was one of the only ones who did.

Another paper landed on my desk.

_**Those will need to be deleted.**_

I shook my head and scribbled another message.

_**That can only happen if you agree to delete the ones of me. And was that a bit of redness I saw on your cheeks there Embry Call?**_

He narrowed his eyes at me and raised an eyebrow and I mimicked his expression, challenging him.

_**We should both just agree to disagree on the deletion of each other's photos.**_

I pursed my lips and tapped my foot as I read that one over. I decided not to respond with another message, mulling it over for the rest of class or at least making it look like I was. I found it very satisfying to watch him look over every couple of seconds to see if I had written something new. It was nice to be on the opposite end of the torture.

When the bell rang and class was over I put the drawing away in a safe place and grabbed the wad of paper that was on my desk. Walking to the front of the class and throwing them in the trash. I saw Embry come up right behind me and smiled as he followed me out of the room.

"So are you agreeing to allow me to keep my pictures of you?"

I looked up at him and shrugged, "As much as I hate it, yes I am. So now I can keep my pictures of you."

He sighed, "As much as I hate it," he held out his hand and I shook it, flinching from the extreme difference in body temperature.

"You have a really pretty smile," I teased him like he teased me last night, "Although, the close ups I have of you reveal all of your nose hairs and I swear I saw a booger in one of them."

He shoved me playfully and I found enjoyment in watching his face fall, "You know you're not as nice as I thought you were."

I chuckled, "You embarrassed me last night so now it's my turn to embarrass you."

He grinned and wrapped his arm around my shoulders, squishing me right up against his side, "I think you and I are the perfect match."

I took his words as something a friend would say to a friend, not allowing myself to believe they could mean anything more.

"We are just two peas in a pod," I smiled up at him, our eyes connecting for the first time today.

Little did I know, his words held more honesty to them than I could ever imagine.

**So what did everyone think? I really loved this chapter. It was lots of fun to write the interaction between Embry and Ali. **

**What did you think of the couple new characters I introduced? I will be talking more about Caleb in chapters to come. And Amaya will also be included in this story in the future. **

**Please if you could and if you have the time leave a review! I would like to see what you guys are thinking and whether it is worth it for me to continue the story. I hope everyone who has read Angels and Wolves is not disappointed. I know this is very different from that story, but like I said my writing has changed since I last wrote for it. **

**So please REVIEW! Or just favorite/alert the story. Anything is greatly appreciated and not overlooked. **

**Oh yeah and the word Ali used to greet Amaya in the beginning of their phone conversation is the Japanese word for beautiful if anyone was curious. **

**:)**


	4. 3 Burnt Toast

**Yay! Another update! :) **

**This chapter is full of Embry and Ali! I really put a lot of thought into this chapter, so I hope everyone enjoys it. I know I haven't been getting a lot of responses on this story, but that's fine. I am still going to keep updating no matter what. I am too into the story to stop. **

**There is one thing that needs to be clarified that one reviewer (Tamani) brought to my attention. In this story Embry is 17, so this story takes place during Breaking Dawn. It takes place at the beginning of September, so it's a little while after the wedding in the book. Thank you Tamani for asking this! And thank you for reviewing!**

**Also, thank you to everyone else who has been brave enough to review this story. I know the writing might not be that great, but just seeing a few people enjoying the story is good enough for me. :)**

**Ok, enough with the ranting, read on! **

"_The __most confused we ever get is when we try to convince our heads of something our hearts know is a lie.__" -Karen Moning_

Chapter 3

Burnt Toast

Dominica was practically skipping through the hallway because she was so damn happy. After I had told her that Embry asked me to hang out with him after school she started smiling like the Cheshire cat and cooing in my ear about how adorable it was. I kept wondering if she and Amaya were distantly related with the way they both overreacted to anything that had to do with boys, particularly boys who I talked to. Particularly Embry Call.

We turned down the art hallway, passing tons of artwork hung up on the walls on either side. I noticed him standing at the end of the hallway, hands in his pockets and neck tilted back as he studied the art infested walls. My lips tugged upward without my brain's permission and I had to force my legs to move at a normal pace because it felt like I was being pulled towards him, which was odd.

"You guys really would make the cutest couple," Dominica whispered in my ear as we approached him.

I swear I saw him smirk, but it was hard to say it with one hundred percent certainty from over here.

"Like I said we're just friends."

She grunted, "You're in denial, Ali. I saw the two of you yesterday and it looked like a bunch of flirting-,"

"We were not flirting!" I said it louder than I should've, which made Embry turn on his heels towards us. My eyes widened when I saw the complacent look on his face, knowing from that one look that he had unfortunately heard what I said.

The two of us just gazed at each other for an awkward moment, while Dominica was just giggling beside me. I didn't say anything to him as I made my way into the darkroom, yanking at Dominica's wrist and pulling her along with me. When we were sitting in our stools I slammed my face onto the table and wrapped my arms around my head. I wanted to stay hidden in my suffocating square of embarrassment for as long as possible. I was completely mortified, and didn't know if I could stand to see Embry sitting across from me after that.

Dominica patted me on the shoulder reassuringly, "It's alright. It happens to the best of us."

"Is she okay?" I heard a somewhat familiar voice ask.

"She's fine, just needs to take a moment," I could tell she was smiling just from the sweet way she spoke, "She just doesn't want to admit that she likes Embry."

"Dominica!" my head whipped up in a rush, and I shot daggers in her direction. Thankfully, Embry wasn't in the room quite yet. Still, I didn't think Quil needed to know this information.

"Ah, I see. She's in denial."

"There's nothing to deny," I pursed my lips and glared at Quil, "We are friends, and we will always be friends."

The two of them laughed together as if there was something they both knew that I didn't. Obviously they had talked to each other more than I thought they had yesterday. Obviously the two of them had been watching me talk to Embry, and obviously they were both trying to set us up. It was stupid and never going to happen.

The conversation couldn't carry on any longer since Embry had walked in, still looking smug. He exchanged a glance with Quil before sitting beside him, his eyes landing on me immediately. I turned my glare onto him instead of Quil, which caused him to do the same to me. Eventually, the glaring turned into a staring contest and after a minute or two without blinking, my eyes pleaded for some relief and I gave up, letting him win.

He half smiled at me and winked, and the whole time I had to stop myself from grinning back at him.

As our lecture began I tried to sort through the mess in my head, questioning everything that I was feeling and everything that was happening. Why did I have to keep telling myself that we would just be friends and nothing more when it should've been a simple thing to comprehend? Why did my body always seem to want to gravitate towards him whenever he was around? And why did my heart always beat a bit faster when I saw him? I couldn't figure it all out. I was a mystery to myself.

As I looked at him sitting across from me I wondered what he thought of me. Maybe he didn't even consider me anything more than the new girl. Maybe we weren't even friends and he was just trying to be nice. Why would he bother giving me his number then? Why did he give me compliments any chance he got?

Dominica and Quil seem to believe that we were already becoming a couple. Why was that? Did Embry say something to Quil? Did Quil relay that back to Dominica? What am I missing?

There were too many questions to sort through in a fifty minute long lecture. I decided to stow them away by the end of class and bring them up at a later time. Right now, we were strictly friends and that was that. I'm sure once I tell them all about my cancer days they will understand why a relationship between the two of us is not possible.

Dominica and Quil walked out together and I watched them go, trying not to get all nervous. Of course they wouldn't walk with us, it was probably a part of this matchmaking game they were playing. Embry walked over to me and grabbed my backpack off of the floor for me. I took it from his outstretched hand with a smile on my face and followed him out the door, trying hard not to think about Dominica and Quil, and the plans they were conjuring up.

The two of us collected our things from each of our lockers, and we decided to walk to his house to hang out as we made our way out of school. I called mom and explained to her where I was going and who I was with. She sounded worried, like always, but allowed me to go as long as I got home by six.

"Your mom is protective huh?" Embry asked me after I had hung up the phone.

I glanced at him for a moment before looking back out at the trees that we passed as we walked, "Yeah, she always has been."

"What's the rest of your family like?"

My hands formed into fists in the pockets of my jacket. I hesitated to respond, because I knew that I would have to tell him I was adopted if I answered. It wasn't a terrible thing to tell other people, I just didn't want to tell anyone I didn't trust. If I wanted to be Embry's friend I would have to trust him though.

"Well, I have a four year old brother named Kevin who is obsessed with Spiderman. My mom writes books while my dad has his own business in Port Angeles. It's a really cool shop with a bunch of Quileute artifacts and things. I love the dream catchers the most. One of the women that work in the shop makes them and they're beautiful. Her whole family has made them."

"Are your parents Quileute?" he asked, his eyes focused on me.

There's no turning back now, "Yeah, they both are."

I looked up to try to read his expression, noticing the quizzical look in his eyes, "I think there might be some mutations in your genetic code. You're as pale as a ghost."

I smiled and shook my head at him, "My genetic code does have a few mutations, but that's not why I don't look like I'm Quileute," I paused and looked back at the trees before continuing, "I was adopted, so unfortunately I am not Quileute at all."

He didn't say anything right away, the only sounds that could be heard were our feet hitting the pavement with each step we took. I bit the inside of my cheek in anticipation. It felt like my skin would explode from how fast the blood was pumping through my veins.

"That's too bad. Now you'll never be as sexy as me."

"What?" I did not expect that, "Are you seriously suggesting that being Quileute makes you sexy?" I felt extremely relieved that he was being his usual self.

He nodded, "It's unfortunate that you were not graced with the amazing Quileute genes like me," he raised his arms and flexed his bicep muscles. I tried not to swoon, "you don't think I got these muscles all on my own did you?"

I rolled my eyes and scoffed, "You are so full of yourself."

I was glad that he didn't make a big deal about me being adopted. It made me feel hopeful that he would be able to handle the cancer bomb after I dropped it on him. If he stuck around for that long, that is.

He stopped flexing his muscles and wrapped his arm around my shoulders instead, which caused my breath to hitch, "I am not. It's the God honest truth."

"Whatever," I looked down at our feet as we walked together, internally freaking out about the fact that our hips were bumping every other step.

"So, do you know anything about where you came from at all?"

He pulled me a bit closer to him, causing my side to be flush up against his. I tried to keep my composure the best that I could under the circumstances, "Well, I know that I'm part Irish and part German and that my biological parents' names are Patrick and Elise, but that's about it."

His thumb grazed over my cheek, "Your Irish roots explain your transparent appearance."

I swatted his hand away, "Jackass."

"That was a compliment. I happen to like the fact that you're pale," he smiled broadly at me, "You're unique."

"Having pale skin doesn't make me unique."

"Well, fine then," he stopped looking at me for just a second before our eyes connected again, "it makes you easier to point out in a crowd at least."

I stopped dead in my tracks, my mouth hanging open. He let go of me and waited for my reaction, pressing his lips together to try not to smile. I stuck my middle finger up at him and waved it in his face, shoving him as hard as I could before I began to storm off.

It took him exactly two strides to catch up to me, and I cursed him for having such long legs, "Come on, I was kidding!"

I wasn't angry. I embraced my paleness and would take anything he threw at me. That didn't mean I didn't stick a few middle fingers up in the process.

Before I knew it, he was in front of me. I tried to side-step him to the right and to the left, but each time he managed to predict my movement. I did it again and again, trying to trick him, and eventually he just placed both of his hands on my arms and prevented me from moving at all.

"I'm kidding," he said, a bit more seriously now.

"You know, I could insult you too," my eyes narrowed.

"Okay, give it your best shot."

I pondered for a moment, looking at him up and down and trying to come up with something. To be honest he was flawless to me, so anything I would say would have to be a lie, a really insulting lie, "You smell really bad, like rotting flesh bad-,"

"Good one."

"- and you have crooked teeth that are disgusting-,"

"Right on."

"-and…and you have greasy hair and a misshaped head. Honestly, you're just gross all around. I don't even know why I'm standing here with you."

He didn't seem affected by any of that. All he did was stare at me silently, hands still touching my arms. He could probably tell I was lying. I was a horrible liar.

"Oh, and your tan skin makes you look like burnt toast."

He furrowed his brows and looked at me like I was crazy. Then all of a sudden he burst out laughing, nearly falling over from how intensely his body was shaking. I managed to smile, waiting for him to stop his outburst.

"Burnt…toast?" he clutched his stomach and buckled over.

"Barely burnt, I guess. Like borderline burnt toast."

This only caused him to laugh more. It took him about seven minutes to recover, and when he did he pulled me into a very tight, very warm hug. I almost couldn't breathe from how tightly his arms were wrapped around me.

"Thank you for that," he said quietly, "That was one of the best insults I've ever received."

I snorted and pushed him away from me, trying not to let onto how much I actually enjoyed the hug, "Anytime. If you need to be insulted again, you know who to call."

"I'll put you on speed dial."

He pulled me against his side again and we continued our journey to his house. When we arrived, I had to take a moment to admire the beautifully simple cottage home that was surrounded by an endless amount of trees. It was small and looked a bit run down, but that was how most of the houses looked in La Push. That was one of the reasons why I loved the reservation so much.

Embry led me up the small porch and through the front door, throwing his bag down on the floor next to it and slipping off his shoes. I did the same and put my camera down on the small side table next to the sofa before following him into the kitchen. The house was quiet, signaling that we were the only two in the house.

"Where are your parents?" I asked as I leaned up against the counter.

He froze with his hand on the fridge door, "My mom's still at work. She won't be home until later. And my dad…well I have no idea where_ he_ is," he went back to opening the fridge, "Do you want something to drink? I have soda, iced tea, juice-,"

"Iced tea is good," I stared at his back as he leaned over, the muscles in his shoulders bulging through his shirt as he did it, "You don't know your dad?"

He closed the fridge and moved right next to me, grabbing two glasses out of the cabinet beside my head, "Nope. So you could say we're both alike in that way."

I nodded, watching him closely as he poured the juice. I wondered if I should stop myself now before asking him more. He looked up at me and smiled as he handed me the glass, "Go ahead and ask."

I didn't know I was that easy to read, "Do you want to know who he is?"

He shrugged and leaned up against the counter, our arms touching, "Not really. At this point, I don't care. I'm fine with how the way things are," he took a sip from his glass and I did the same, "How about you? Do you want to know your biological parents?"

This wasn't hard for me to answer. I had thought about this so many times in the past and have realized that the only thing my real parents have given me is bad genes and a bit of bone marrow when I was sick. Don't get me wrong, I couldn't have been more thankful that my mother was willing to donate bone marrow to me. I knew it must've been hard for her, giving up a part of you to a child you had gotten rid of so many years ago. They had never given me the opportunity to thank them though, never once asking to see me or showing concern. So I knew that they would never care for me the way my adoptive parents did, and I was completely fine with that.

"No, not really. I wouldn't trade my parents for the world. They've shown me that you don't have to be related to someone to show them unconditional love. I couldn't ask for anything better."

We drank our drinks in silence, and his blazing hot skin nearly gave my arm mild burns. I thought about moving over a little bit, and yet I didn't move an inch. The contact felt good, safe in a way. I didn't understand it.

"Why is your skin so hot?" I looked up at him and noticed him tense up a bit.

"Because I'm hot. Hot people have hot skin."

Of course, I should've expected him to say something along those lines, "Stop doing that."

He leaned in closer to me, his gaze flickering down to my lips for only a second before returning to my eyes, "Doing what?"

"Acting all conceited and vain. I can tell it's an act."

"Oh really?" he smirked at me.

I nodded, "I think I would like you a lot better if you stopped referring to yourself as hot and sexy all the time. Underneath all of that is a guy who's just scared."

"Scared?"

I placed my glass down on the counter behind me and crossed my arms over my chest. He moved so that he was now in front of me, his hands on either side of me, preventing me from escaping if I wanted to. His face leaned in even closer to mine and I kept my eyes connected with his, not allowing him to intimidate me.

"You're scared of allowing people to see who you really are, so you put up a front. I get it, believe me I do it all the time. If it's any consolation I like you better without the mask."

The corners of his mouth twitched upward and the corners of his eyes crinkled when he smiled fully, "What if I told you, you're wrong? That I truly am just a conceited jerk."

I shrugged, resisting the urge to get rid of the space between us, "I wouldn't believe it."

His hand grazed over my hip and moved around to the small of my back. With just a gentle push our bodies were touching, and everything I was trying not to allow to happen was happening, "Why not?"

Goosebumps rose on my skin from the feeling of my chest touching his chest. I didn't know what I was thinking; honestly I'm not sure I could actually think at all right now. My mind was completely blank, and none of my neurons fired any signals to my limbs to move away from him.

"Because conceited jerks don't draw pictures of flowers just to give to someone like me. Conceited jerks don't even give someone like me a second thought."

"Someone like you?"

His hot breath fanned over my face, and as I was about to open my mouth to speak, to reveal myself and take off my own mask, I finally was able to look at the big picture and realize what was wrong with it. I shook my head and placed both of my hands on his chest, using all of my force to push him away. I couldn't tell him, not yet. I couldn't be standing here, not like this. We could not become anything more than friends. We could not stand like this in his house without anyone around.

"Never mind," my eyes cast down to the floor and he took a step back. I needed to prevent him from asking again. I needed to get his mind on something else, "So about those pictures."

He analyzed me for a little while without responding, his eyes looking at me curiously. When he let out a deep breath and placed our glasses in the sink I knew he was letting it go. He held out his hand for me and I was reluctant to take it, which caused him to let out a light chuckle and grab my hand anyways.

He led me back into the living room, and the two of us grabbed our cameras from their spot on the table next to the couch before we headed through a small hallway. I focused on our joined hands that were perfectly melded together as he brought me into his room. As much as I hate to admit it I felt much more hollow the second he let go.

"Welcome to my man cave," he stretched his arms out wide.

I looked around the whole room my eyes bouncing from one thing to the next. His walls were painted a dark blue color and three out of the four held posters for movies and television shows that I had never heard of. The last of the four was almost completely covered in a collage of creatures and characters that I had never seen before. A huge collection of video games rested on a shelf next to his bed and the floor was littered with clothes and pencils and wads of paper. I noticed a small desk off to the left and walked over to it, smiling when I saw art supplies sprawled out over the surface. A sketch book caught my eye and I snatched it up in my hands immediately.

"Please don't look at that," he looked at me warily.

I sat back on his bed and opened to the first page, ignoring his request. I skimmed my fingers over the drawing of the monstrous beast, staring at it in awe. He was amazing. I didn't have to know what it was to know that. Every hair was drawn individually and every dribble of spit coming out of the creature's growling mouth was taken into consideration. If I hadn't known it was one of his drawings I would've thought it was a picture of an actual living being.

When I flipped to the next page the feeling turned from sinister to serene. It was a drawing of a wolf with striking yellow eyes. The wolf was surrounded by a galaxy of colorful stars, the wolf's silver fur popping out of the page from the contrast of the bright colors.

Embry sat down beside me on the bed and plucked the book out of my hand, "That's enough of that."

He threw the sketch book back onto the desk and avoided my eyes. This was the real Embry, the one who was a bit shy and self-conscious. This was the Embry that I was becoming more and more fond of every time he made an appearance, which only seemed to happen when I brought up his drawings or when I was the one complimenting him.

"Why are you so ashamed of the fact that you have a raw talent?" I asked.

He glanced my way before staring down at his camera again, messing with the buttons on it, "I'm not. I just don't like to go around flaunting that crap."

I rolled my eyes at him, "You and I both know that that is _not_ crap."

"Okay fine, whatever. It's really not a big deal."

I couldn't help but smile at him, a breathy laugh escaping from my mouth. The sound caused him to pay attention to me instead of his camera, his face contorted in confusion.

"What?"

I shook my head, the smile still there, "Nothing, I just don't understand how you can accept it when people compliment your looks and then deny it when people compliment your talents."

"I could say something similar to you, except you_ always_ deny any compliments I give you. And you also blush every single time."

It was completely true and there was no way I could argue with him. He took my silence for what it was, defeat, and grinned his cocky grin again.

"You're even blushing right now," his finger grazed over my cheek.

I bowed my head and placed both of my palms on either of my cheeks to hide any evidence, "No I'm not."

He grabbed my wrists and yanked my hands off of my face. I wasn't even fast enough to stop him nor was I strong enough, "You're also a bad liar."

I groaned and jabbed him in the side, "Okay, we really need to look at these pictures now."

He smiled broadly, "Yes, it's time to make you blush even more."

I turned on my camera that was hanging around my neck and put the lens right up to his eye, taking a picture and blinding him with the flash. He let out an irritated growl and covered his eyes when I tried it again. Then he proceeded to blind me with his own camera, the whole thing turning into an all out war. We continued to ruin each other's eyesight, and it turned a bit violent when the flashing was no longer satisfying and I resorted to slapping him any chance I got. It barely did any good since he was so much stronger than me and was able to fend me off with just his forearm.

Eventually, he got annoyed with the slapping and just tackled me down onto the mattress, his hands pinning my arms down above my head.

"Embry!" I squirmed underneath him, trying not to let myself think any inappropriate thoughts while we were in this position, "Let go!"

A devilish smile crept up on his face, "Not until you admit defeat."

I grunted, my body going limp, "Fine, I surrender."

After I said it he didn't let go. Our eyes connected and in his I saw flames that hadn't been present before, a fire that was ignited the moment it all happened. His gaze held me under lock and key, and there was nothing that could possibly make me look away. Not unless he looked away first.

"Embry," I whispered.

"Yeah?" he didn't even blink when he spoke. No part of him moved at all, and he was so still that I wondered if he had stopped breathing altogether.

My heart was practically screaming at me, telling me to let it all happen, to let him do what he wanted right here and now. But my brain was pounding against my skull, resisting my heart's requests, telling it to keep quiet and stay out of it. This could_ not_ happen.

"Let go of me," I said.

He furrowed his brows, looking a bit dazed, "What?"

"I said let go of me," I wiggled my arms a bit to let him know what I was referring to.

"Oh, right," he finally did as he was told and rolled onto the bed beside me so that we were lying next to each other, "Looks like I won that."

I was still trying to clear my head, still trying to process what had just happened, what I had just seen in his eyes. The two of us just stared up at the ceiling without speaking, and I was curious to know if he had felt the same thing I felt before and if he was thinking about it just like I was. I allowed my mind to toss that around for only a second longer before I forced myself to forget it completely and act like nothing had happened. If I ignored it then maybe he could too.

I grabbed my camera again and held it up above my face, turning it on and beginning to look at the pictures I had taken. He didn't do the same, his eyes still staring up at the ceiling thoughtfully.

I began to panic when he looked over at me, feeling the hairs on the back of my neck standing on end from how intensely he was staring. I disregarded it and kept flipping through the pictures until I landed on a good one of him.

"I like this one," I moved the camera so he could see, "You're actually smiling unlike the others where you look like you're high on something."

That got him to look away, "What?" he grabbed the camera from my hands and stared at the picture before him, "Oh God this is gross."

I grinned at the look of disgust on his face, "I'm surprised you're not commenting on how hot you look in it."

"Why? Do you think I look hot?" he asked.

I hesitated, "No."

He chuckled, "See you're a really bad liar."

I turned my face away from him so he couldn't see my rosy cheeks, "Whatever, I'm still using it for the assignment whether you like it or not."

"Okay," he sat up and grabbed his own camera from the other side of the bed where he left it, "Then that just means I can use whatever pictures I want of you."

"You can only use one," I sat up, "I'll only allow you to use one. And for the rest you can just use mine."

He looked a bit disappointed, "I don't know if you know this but that's considered cheating."

"I'm aware of that," I said, "I didn't take you for someone who followed the rules though."

He went back to flipping through his pictures, "In this case, I wouldn't be opposed to it," he murmured.

I chose to ignore what he said and scooted over towards him so I could see the infamous pictures of me that he had been raving about the night before. Unfortunately, they were much worse than I thought. In half of them I looked like I had gotten run over by a truck while in the other half I had a creepy smile on my face that made me look like I had just done something horrific. When I told Embry this he disagreed and flipped through the pictures a few more times before settling on the first shot he had of me, where I hadn't even known what he was doing.

Once he had picked his three other pictures from my camera and all of the decisions had been made I asked him about all of the posters and drawings on his walls since I was completely clueless. He explained that they were mostly characters from video games he played and comic books that he liked to read, his face lighting up as he talked about all of it.

The tables had turned after that, and he was asking me about what I was interested in. There wasn't much I could say since the cancer had sucked me dry of having anything remotely interesting to tell him about myself. I just told him I enjoyed reading books, which was true but boring. When I told him about how much I liked math he looked disgusted, which was something I had expected.

We talked for a little while longer and I tried my best to keep the spotlight on him instead of me since I didn't want to let anything slip. I asked him about his friends Jacob and Quil from school and he told me they were practically his brothers, and they had all grown up together. He dove into multiple stories about their childhood, most of them embarrassing ones that made me laugh more than I probably should have.

When he asked me about my own friends I had to take a couple of minutes to gather my thoughts and come up with a good answer for him, "Well, you already know Dominica," he nodded, his eyes never straying away from me, "I didn't have too many friends before her," I pursed my lips, trying to find the right words to explain it, "I have one best friend, Amaya who's obsessed with manga and anime. We met over a year ago. She's a feisty, four foot eleven, spitfire who isn't afraid of anything. We're so different that it's laughable sometimes, but I think that's why we're such good friends. We balance each other out."

I didn't know if I should delve into anything about Caleb. He was technically more than a friend, and he also was no longer alive. I couldn't talk about my dead boyfriend to Embry.

"You can't tell me you don't have any other friends."

I titled my head to the side, scratching the back of my neck, "I don't," I mumbled.

He raised his eyebrow, "What? Do you have a boyfriend or something? Is that it?"

My eyes widened in shock. Where the hell did that come from? I wasn't that readable was I? I couldn't be.

"N-No…I-I don't," I wanted to punch myself in the face because of my shaky voice. Yeah, that didn't sound convincing at all.

"I don't care if you do," he smiled a smile that didn't seem genuine at all. I started wondering if he was the one who was lying.

"I don't," I shook my head rapidly from side to side, "I promise I don't."

He let out a long sigh, and I did my best to not think of the sound as anything more than his body getting rid of the carbon dioxide inside of it. I tried not to think of it as being a sound that signified relief.

"So what? An ex boyfriend?"

I bit my lip, still a bit reluctant to say anything, "How many ex girlfriends do _you_ have?"

This conversation was beginning to get painfully awkward.

"I asked you first, although the fact that you answered my question with another question already tells me that's a yes."

This was really stupid. I couldn't talk to him about this even if we were just friends. There was no part of me that wanted to tell him about Caleb yet, and there was also no part of me that wanted to hear his answer to my own question. I grabbed my camera off of the mattress and stood up, feeling a bit dizzy as I did it.

"I have to get home," I didn't look back as I headed out of his room and into the hallway. I grabbed my backpack and put the camera inside of it before zipping it up and slinging it over my shoulder.

"You don't have to go."

I glanced up at Embry's face, seeing disappointment in his eyes, "No, I do."

When I went to open the door he grabbed my arm and stopped me, "Let me drive you."

I was ready to protest, but then I realized it was probably a good idea considering the fact that I had no idea how to get to my house from here. Plus, I could hear the intense patter of raindrops on the window. There was no way I could walk home in a downpour. I nodded in agreement, "Okay."

We got into his rusty pickup truck and headed down the road. I told him my address and didn't say anything else to him. I was too caught up in my own head to say anything.

The whole ride was full of nothing but the sound of rain and his windshield wipers. The air seemed a bit tense, and I kept my gaze focused on my hands in front of me so that I wouldn't have to see his face. He was probably bewildered by the way I had reacted, about my wanting to leave right after he had posed a simple question. It shouldn't be difficult to talk about these things, but for me it was. It wasn't like Caleb was just my ex. He was my ex who had died, of cancer no less. There was no way I could talk about him as if he were still alive. I think I would fall apart all over again if I tried.

When he pulled up into the driveway of my house I gathered my things and unbuckled my seatbelt. I said a quick thanks to him over my shoulder and went to open the door, but Embry's arm suddenly created a barrier around me and I couldn't do it.

"You're okay, right?" he asked, his voice sounding a bit wary, "I mean I didn't do anything wrong did I?"

I raised my head and met his eyes, "I'm fine," I tried my best to make it sound like an honest answer. The sad look on his face told me that I hadn't done a very good job, and I felt compelled to explain myself, "There are a lot of things in my life that are complicated. Things I can't say to someone I just met yesterday."

He nodded, "I can understand that."

I grinned and reached over the console, wrapping my arms around his shoulders and squeezing them, "You're just gonna have to put up with me for a little while before that can happen."

He chortled as he enveloped me in his warms arms, "I was already planning on it."

When I pulled away from him I found myself regretting it. The strings were tugging on me, trying to get me to hug him again. I resisted the feeling and forced myself to stay in place.

"I had a lot of fun today," I admitted to him after I stepped out of the truck, "even though you did insult me before."

He smirked at me, "I'm glad you can find it in you to look past that."

I sighed dramatically, "It's difficult, but I can manage. See you tomorrow, Embry."

"See you," he responded quietly.

I turned on my heels and began to walk towards the house, looking back at the truck as he pulled out of the driveway. I stopped in front of the door with my fingers curled around the door knob, my mind reeling from the events that had just taken place.

It was difficult to say this with complete certainty, but I was sure that his departure was what was causing this ache to grow within me. Not having him here with me made me regret ever getting out of the truck. I didn't want to believe it was true, but there was no other explanation for it. It had appeared the moment he was out of sight.

It was a terrible thing to realize when I was trying to keep a level head.

If I wanted to keep things the way they are now I would have to banish these feelings, and prevent them from taking the reins. I needed to think without letting my rapid heart get in the way. I needed to constantly remind myself of the very reason why I couldn't let the ache control me, and why I couldn't let the strings pull me. It was the only way I would allow myself to be around Embry.

**Ok the ending was written in a very tired haze so I might be editing it later on if I think it's dumb. I am exhausted right now and probably should've waited to read the end over but I am too anxious to put it up that I just left it the way it was. **

**Woo already going onto chapter 4! Hopefully I will have that up soon enough for those who are interested. **

**If you enjoyed this chapter along with the previous ones then please review and let me know! Your reviews are my motivation! :)**


	5. 4 Guarantee

**Sorry this chapter took so long. I had a busy weekend and was working all day Saturday and Sunday and I worked last night. Plus, I really wanted to make sure this chapter was good, so I edited it a lot and read it over a bunch of times. Hopefully there are no mistakes :P **

**Thank you to the amazing people who reviewed! And also to the people who favorited/followed this story. You guys are the best, I swear I wouldn't feel half as good as I do without your feedback. **

**I want to say thank you to my puppy, Sadie, as well for laying at my feet the whole time I wrote this chapter. It's really random, but I just noticed that it's become a pattern for her to do when I go in my room and lay in bed to write. Haha so random...**

**Read on!**

"_Fear keeps us focused on the past or worried about the future. _

_If we can acknowledge our fear, we can realize that right now we are okay. _

_Right now, today, we are still alive, and our bodies are working marvelously. _

_Our eyes can still see the beautiful sky. _

_Our ears can still hear the voices of our loved ones." –Carmen Bass_

Chapter 4

Guarantee

My first week of high school was now officially over. It was the first of many grueling weeks to come. Now that I finally got a taste of what it was like, I had mixed feelings about having to go through fourteen more weeks of this same routine. Classes were difficult, and my homework stack was already piled high, yet I still felt ecstatic about facing all of the challenges this school year would bring on. I guess it was mostly because of the amazing people I've met in these short five days. I'm pretty sure I don't have to explain who is at the top of that list…

Embry and I had continued to grow closer as the days continued on. We passed notes constantly in calculus, and each time I was astounded by the fact that we never got caught. I didn't know if we were just lucky or if Mr. Collier just chose to ignore it. When I brought it up to Embry, he told me Mr. Collier had deemed him as a lowlife degenerate a long time ago and was sick of disciplining him. This led me to believe that the latter was true.

Surprisingly, I didn't need to pay attention to Mr. Collier's lectures to know how to do the homework, and the assignments we were given were a breeze for me. Sadly, this wasn't true for Embry. After he had turned in his first homework assignment, which was basically just the answers taken from the back of the book and scribbled onto a page, and received an F I took mercy on him and offered to try to explain it all to him. This resulted in the two of us spending the next two days after school having makeshift tutoring sessions at his house. We did our best to stay focused. It failed a bunch of times due to his short attention span and strange infatuation with me. I was practically a tomato every time I was with him because of that.

Yesterday in photography we had developed our film in the darkroom to complete our first project. Embry and I managed to cheat without anyone else noticing, and Dominica pretty much melted into a big puddle of goop when I told her that the two of us used pictures of each other for the project. After that happened I tried to ram it into her head ten million times over that nothing was going on between the two of us in _that_ way. She still didn't seem convinced, and after that happened I didn't know what else I could say or do to persuade her otherwise. It was a battle I was always going to lose.

That evening, Dominica had come over to watch movies at my house. She called it a 'girl's movie night'. I didn't really understand the point of giving it a name, but I decided I shouldn't question it since I had never done anything like this before. If I did know, I would've set some ground rules, which would've prohibited discussions about Embry and me. As soon as she brought it up I knew I was in trouble. She went on to tell me about how she thought I should go on a date with him and how Quil agreed with her. I took a mental note of the fact that she seemed to mention Quil any time she could. I wondered if she was starting to like him just as she assumed I liked Embry, which I didn't….because we were friends.

I could not look at him as anything more than a friend.

And yet I stayed up into the late hours of the night, imagining what kind of date the two of us would go on if it ever happened. I thought about the look he had in his eyes the other day, a look filled with fervor and zeal that could only be meant for someone you cared for more than just a friend. It made me shiver whenever I pictured it. It made my fingertips tingle and my toes curl from the intensity of it.

On Saturday, I had woken up feeling confused and tired. I had so many things rolling around in my head that it made me feel like I was spinning continuously. Needless to say, I needed to talk to my best friend about all of this.

I walked through the automatic doors of the hospital feeling a million different things at once. The smell of it all made my nose curl in disgust and the memories hit me like a ton of bricks. I stopped walking as soon as it happened, and mom squeezed my shoulder to comfort me. She knew not to push me, and that it was best to not ask about it. She was probably feeling the same way I was.

We didn't ask for directions as we headed straight for the elevators. There was no need to ask since we knew this hospital like the back of our hands. I sipped my smoothie as we climbed to the fourth floor, my foot tapping lightly the whole way up. I tried to think about anything other than the terrible memories I have of being in these elevators, but of course my attempts were useless.

I was usually in a wheelchair or in my bed as they transported me to different areas of the hospital to have different tests performed on me. I had gone in these elevators with Caleb a few times to escape the nurses and have some alone time. We had hit the emergency stop button once or twice and made out. It was sad to think that we resorted to making out in a God damn elevator. Life tends to get depressing when it's confined to the four walls of a hospital though.

When I saw Amaya sitting in the blue leather recliner in the chemotherapy room, I tried my best to make the memories go away. I was not going to think about that. I was going to think about here and now and I was going to be happy.

"Hi Mrs. Hayashi," I waved to her mom.

She got up from her chair and mustered up the best smile she could manage given the circumstances, "We've gone over this before, Ali. You can call me Kira. I think we've known each other long enough."

She hugged me tightly, and I stuck my tongue out at Amaya over her mother's shoulder. She blew me a kiss from her seat, the IV in her arm indicating that she had already started.

"Sorry, it's a habit of mine."

She pulled away and kissed me on the cheek, "How have you been? Amaya told me a bit about school."

"I've been good, and school's been great. I'm starting to understand why everyone hates high school now though."

"I warned you," Amaya said, her voice a bit scratchy.

"Yeah, you did," I went to take the seat beside her as Kira went to talk to mom, setting my backpack beside me when I got settled. I grabbed the purple smoothie from the cardboard cup tray and handed it to her. She took a sip immediately, which meant that she wasn't getting nauseous yet.

"How is it going?" I asked her, lifting my chin towards the IV bag above her head.

The yellow scarf that covered her head slipped back a bit as she sunk further into the chair, "Only twenty minutes into it so far. I'm guessing by the hour mark I'll start to feel something."

Mom and Kira told us they would be in the cafeteria and left us two alone. As soon as they were gone I scooted my chair closer to Amaya's and set my smoothie on the table in between us.

"So, tell me everything!" her eyes grew wide and her face lit up.

I rolled my eyes at her and groaned, "Amaya, I've told you everything…twice."

"Over the phone," she shoved me, "I want to hear it from you in person!"

I didn't really want to go through it again, but we had a lot of time to waste, and if she wanted to hear stories about my first week of school then I was going to have to grin and bear it. I went through everything in detail once more, describing my first day and meeting Dominica and Embry and their other friends and explaining what had happened after I talked to her on the phone. She barely blinked as I spoke about going to Embry's house and passing notes in class. Her sound effects amused me whenever she would react to a certain part of the story.

Once I was finished I fumbled around in my backpack and pulled out the drawing Embry had given me, handing it to her with a bit of resistance, because I didn't want it to be ruined with smudges. Her eyes scanned over the paper wildly, dashing from left to right and corner to corner.

"Oh my God! He can draw!" I winced at the sound of her high pitched squeal. When I looked around the room I saw that most of the people were either passed out or staring directly at the two of us. I sent them sorrowful glances as my best friend continued to make annoying noises.

"We're in a hospital, Amaya not at a Justin Bieber concert. Please refrain yourself from screaming so close to my ear," I rubbed my ear jokingly.

She shrugged it off like she didn't even care, "I can't believe this. I can't believe you're not going on a date with him yet," I opened my mouth to defend myself, but she held up her finger and stopped me, "I don't want to hear your shitty arguments. You would have to be an idiot to think he's not interested in you. This picture right her," she pointed to the paper, "is proof that he definitely is."

I took another sip of my smoothie to hide the superior grin that was slowly making its way onto my face. My heart began to gain confidence from her words, and it beat proudly against my rib cage. I tried my hardest to fight against it, holding my breath a bit to try to slow down my pulse. The image of Embry's brown eyes appeared again, and a chill ran down my spine when I thought about the way they pierced right through me, exposing me in a way I didn't like to be exposed.

I closed my eyes and shook my head rapidly from left to right a few times, erasing the image from my mind.

"I don't consider him anything more than a friend."

She almost spit the smoothie right out of her mouth from the laughter that erupted from within her. She managed to swallow down the drink before continuing her laughing fit, "That's funny," she said in between laughs, "I thought you just said you don't think of him as more than a friend."

"I don't," I said seriously, "I can't."

"And why can't you?" she asked with a raised eyebrow.

I pursed my lips and drummed my fingers on the table beside us, "You know why."

She rolled her eyes at me and took a deep breath, "Ali, you're being stupid."

"Am I?"

"Yes, you are," she assured me, "Really stupid."

I curled my legs up close to my chest and hugged my knees tightly, blurting out everything that I had been thinking about last night, "There's no way we could ever work right together. He's handsome and outgoing and kind, while I'm just plain and uninteresting and a ticking time bomb. There are no guarantees with me, and I don't want to be held responsible for singlehandedly ruining his life. I'm not going to pull him into this mess."

She closed her eyes and clenched her jaw. I could tell she was starting to get a bit uncomfortable. I knew that feeling all too well. After a couple of minutes she smiled and looked back at me again, "You are dumb."

I grunted, "I'm serious, Amaya."

She let out a sigh before she reached over and grabbed my hand, "I know you are. If anyone knows how you're feeling, it's me," she looked back down at the drawing in her lap, her smile beginning to fade, "Of course there are no guarantees. There never are for people like you and me. You can hate it all you want, you can call cancer an asshole and tell it to go fuck itself, but it won't change anything. We have to just deal with the fact that we are not guaranteed a long and healthy life. The odds of that happening to us are much lower than they are for other people. Your odds are not as good as Embry's, and my odds are not as good as yours. It's just the way it is," she paused for a moment, a bed of sweat settling on her forehead from the pain she was in, "You can't make decisions for him, Ali. It's his choice whether he wants to take a risk and be with a ticking time bomb or not. He has to decide if he's going to take the blow or save himself. Like I said before, it's the ones who surprise you that stick by your side. He's already surprised you in more ways than one."

I looked to my friend with tears in my eyes. I clutched her hand in mine like I would fall apart if I wasn't holding it. Her words hit me hard, and I couldn't stop thinking about what she had said about odds and no guarantees. She believed that her odds were worse than mine. She just confessed to me that her hope was beginning to dwindle. Both of us had been avoiding any conversations that had to do with the tumors in her brain. Beating cancer the first time is considered a miracle; beating it a second time is nearly impossible. She and I both knew it was true, but we couldn't openly admit it. Her words basically just did that very thing.

I looked up at the ceiling to stop the tears from falling, because this definitely was not the time to cry. A chemotherapy room was probably the worst possible place for that. People did not want to see tears here, they wanted to see smiles and they wanted to see hope.

"So, I should tell him about all of it then…to let him decide?"

When I looked back at her I didn't see any trace of sadness or fear on her face. Her composure helped me to gain mine again, "Only when you're ready. Personally, I would've told him already, just to get it all out in the open, but I know you're much more reserved than I am."

I bit my lip and felt my nerves begin to take control, "I just want him to know who I am first. You know how it is, people look at you differently when they find out you have or had cancer. I really don't want anyone to treat me differently because of it."

She snorted, "Yeah, you're right. When people know they start throwing you pity parties left and right."

"Those are the worst kinds of parties."

"It's sickening."

We looked to each other after a beat and began laughing together at the sorry excuse for a joke. After a couple of minutes filled with laughter, Amaya laid her head back and shut her eyes, squeezing my hand for a second before releasing it. She swallowed and breathed through her nose, and I immediately went to grab a pan. As soon as the pan was in front of her face she vomited anything left in her stomach, and I patted her back lightly until it was over with.

A nurse brought over a damp cloth and I dabbed the sides of her mouth with it to get rid of any leftovers. When the wave of nausea finally went away I grabbed a stick of gum out of my backpack and gave it to her to chew on.

"There goes my blueberry deliciousness," she mumbled.

I grinned at her, "I'll buy you another one when this is all over."

She held a thumbs up to me and closed her eyes again, "I might pass out in a few minutes."

"Go ahead, I have some homework to do anyways."

She forced her eyes open again and blinked several times to try to get rid of the sleep, "No, wait. You said you would bring your camera."

"I did."

"Show me what he looks like! I've been kept in the dark for way too long!"

Her enthusiasm would probably be short lived, and this random burst of energy she got would go away once more of the chemo dripped into her veins. I figured I should just do what she asked before she crashed, even though I was a bit hesitant to see how she would react to the pictures.

I pulled out the camera and handed it over to her once I landed on my favorite picture of him from the bunch. Her eyes widened a bit, and my cheeks became redder and redder the longer she gaped at the photo for.

"Holy shit!" her jaw dropped, "This guy is sex on a stick!"

I cringed at her choice of words, choosing not to reveal that I semi agreed with her on that. When she handed the camera back to me she looked extremely smug and wriggled her eyebrows in delight.

"You are a weirdo," I admitted.

"And you are insane. I have no idea how you've lasted a week without jumping that god."

I fought against the urge to smile, failing miserably as soon as I looked down at the camera in my hands, "It's not that difficult considering the fact that I don't even think of him in that way."

"Again with the jokes. You're honestly the funniest person I know."

I turned the camera off and put it back into my bag, realizing that my head was beginning to lose the battle with my heart. It started to become clear to me that I didn't really feel like fighting with it anymore.

* * *

I looked over the problem again, tapping my chin as the numbers raced through my brain. I wrote down one path I could take to get to the answer and erased it as soon as a zero appeared as the denominator of the fraction. I was ready to pull my hair out at this point. I've been looking at this same damn problem for nearly twenty minutes and I still can't figure it out. The first couple of homework assignments were easy for me. The one I'm working on now is making me question if I'm really as good at this as I thought I was.

My thoughts were beginning to flee in ten different directions when my phone rang.

I quickly grabbed it and answered the call before the noise could wake Amaya up, "Hello?" I whispered.

"Hey, Ali."

I closed my book as soon as I heard Embry's voice, feeling grateful that he called just when I needed a distraction, "Hey," I curled up in my chair and smiled, "How's your Saturday been going?"

"Terrible. I haven't been insulted once yet."

I chortled, "Okay, let me think of one right now," I clicked my tongue and dragged out the silence to make it seem like I was conjuring up a really great insult, "You know what I noticed yesterday?"

"What?"

"Your laugh sounds like a moaning goat."

He didn't burst out into laughter like I initially thought he would, and I assumed it was because I had just insulted the way he did it. I imagined him sitting there scratching his head and wondering if I was lying, blushing like he did when I complimented his drawings. I looked over at Amaya, knowing she would've given me a high five for being able to stump the 'god' on the other line.

After a few moments of dead air I got a bit worried, "Embry?"

"Are you seriously suggesting I sound like a farm animal when I laugh?"

I chuckled, "Yeah, it's really amusing," he muttered a few things to himself that I couldn't hear through the phone, "Was that insult good enough for you?"

He left my question unanswered, "Are you being serious?"

"Why? Did that one actually hurt?"

"Yeah, my ego is severely bruised now, thanks a lot."

I smiled even wider at that, "No, that wasn't entirely true," I answered.

"Entirely? So, what, I _sort of_ sound like a moaning goat when I laugh?"

"Sure," I loved being on this end of the spectrum, "you could say that."

He let out a growl, and I tried, with all the power I had in me, to refrain myself from adding on to his embarrassment by giggling like a little school girl, "You're lucky I like you, or else I would seriously kick your ass for making fun of my laugh."

My whole body froze from what I had just heard him say, the thought of giggling and moaning goats completely forgotten. My mind soon became flooded with a bunch of questions that had no hope of being answered. Was he just being playful? Or did he really mean that? Was it a friendly sort of like? Or was it more?

When I opened my mouth to try to respond, nothing came out. I searched for something good to say, some sort of snarky remark to shoot back at him so that the conversation would keep flowing in a friendly direction, but I was rendered speechless by his words. I could not stop questioning his motive for saying that to me.

I looked over at Amaya again, wishing she would wake up for just a moment and tell me what to say next. I didn't think I could recover and return back to my normal, insulting self without her help.

My plans to rudely awaken Amaya were soon stopped by Embry's voice, "So…I was just wondering if uh," his voice sounded a bit shaky, like he was at a loss for words as much as I was, "if…you wanted to go out with me tonight?"

I felt my heart stop inside of my chest. I stopped breathing altogether, and I looked around, frantic, wondering if anyone would come over to resuscitate me. I knew for certain that I was dreaming all of this. I had fallen asleep while doing my homework by accident and my mind was fantasizing about the one thing I did and didn't want to happen. Embry Call did not just ask me to go out with him. I was making it all up.

"Is that a no?"

I pulled the phone away from my ear and stared at it in disbelief. My eyes moved across the room again, looking for something to confirm that this was not real. There was nothing that looked like it could only be part of a dream, nothing that seemed out of the ordinary except for the question I had just been asked.

I took a minute to gather my thoughts, and I tried my best to make myself believe that this was all happening right now. This was not a dream or a figment of my imagination. This was real.

For a second, I just relished in the fact that I was actually being asked out by the most gorgeous human being on the planet. Then, once I really thought about today and about tonight, I could not help but feel a bit disappointed.

"Okay, looks like I've just been rejected."

I took a deep breath and opened my mouth, the words finally beginning to spill out, "Sorry, I just…dropped my phone," good one.

"Oh," he said, "so…do you want to?"

The battle raged on inside of me with my heart saying yes and my head saying no. To my heart's dismay, I had to let my head win this round.

"I can't tonight. I have to watch my little brother because my parents are going out."

It was a valid reason, and it was something that I had promised I would do. My parents had been planning a night to themselves for a while now, and I told them that I would stay home and watch Kevin so that they could have a date night. They deserved it, and I couldn't take that away from them.

As much as I wanted to say that I felt good about my answer, that my plan to stay friends with him was a firm one that I stuck by, I could not find it in me to admit that. The deflated feeling inside of me didn't allow me to do so.

"Right," he sounded disappointed, and I felt horrible knowing that I was the one who caused his voice to sound that way, "Well, I guess that was stupid."

"Embry, believe me if I could I would say yes."

Wait, what? I would? Where did that come from?

"Its fine, I understand."

I slapped my palm onto my forehead, his sad voice making me want to punch myself in the face repeatedly.

"If you want I could come over and keep you company," he offered.

I let his words sink in, feeling the butterflies flutter in my stomach like I had the first time I saw him. My lips parted slightly to form a small smile, and I felt somewhat better and more comfortable with what he had just suggested, "Yeah, okay. That sounds good."

"Okay," he replied, "What time should I be there then?"

"Um," my face was ready to split in two from how wide my smile was getting, "How about around seven? It'll give me enough time to give Kevin a bath and everything."

"Alright, I'll be there at seven. Now you'll be forced to put up with my moaning goat laugh and burnt toast skin for the whole night."

I chuckled, "I'm going to have to prepare for that. Maybe do some breathing exercises."

"Because I take your breath away."

"No," I began to blush, the blood pumping quickly to my cheeks.

"You're a pathological liar, Ali. It's okay though, I'm willing to look beyond that."

"I am not-,"

"Okay, see you at seven! Bye!"

And then the line went dead.

I sat there for a little while, feeling completely baffled by what just happened and trying to process what I had just agreed to. Embry Call was coming over to my house tonight. Embry Call would be inside of my humble abode as of seven o'clock this evening.

"Told you he would ask you out by the end of the week."

My head shot up in a rush and I glared at my best friend who was supposed to be sleeping, "How much of that did you hear?"

"Oh, you know, just the parts where you called him a moaning goat and agreed to have him over at your house tonight."

"Really, Amaya? The whole damn time?"

She laughed in her seat, clutching her stomach, "I should win an award for best actress in a sleeping role, because it took a lot for me to not scream at you in your face."

I rolled my eyes and grumbled as she continued to make fun of me, my mind full of possibilities for what was to come.

* * *

By the time I finished bathing Kevin and changing him into his pajamas it was already ten minutes to seven. I brought him downstairs into the living room and let him play with his action figures on the carpet so I could make sure I looked at least a little bit presentable. I ran into the bathroom and checked over myself in the mirror. For the most part I looked fine, except my hair was a bit disheveled and I resembled a ghost from how pale I was. I figured I would be blushing soon enough, so I didn't really worry about it.

I sat on the couch and watched Kevin play while I waited. My hands were shaking a bit from the nerves, and I began to focus on my breathing to try to calm down. I was actually doing breathing exercises...

Yes, Embry Call did take my breath away.

"Sissy, who is comin' over?" Kevin shook my leg and stared up at my face curiously.

"I told you already," I watched as he climbed up onto the couch beside me, "My friend, Embry."

"Embwe?"

I laughed at his mispronunciation, "Yeah, Embry."

He curled up into my lap with Spiderman in his hand, shocker, and began to make whooshing noises as Spiderman flew around his head. Watching him play helped calm me a little, and I tried my hardest to keep my anxiety at bay as I waited for Embry to show up. It was difficult, to say the least. I kept thinking about the possibility of him not showing up at all, about him blowing me off to go hang out with some other girl who was better than I was. He was the one who suggested it though. It was all his idea from the beginning, so he had to show up.

Then my thoughts took a turn for the worse, and I began to question his motive behind offering to come over here. Did he think we would just hang out as friends or did he think it would be heading in a different direction? A direction that led to us being more than that. I mean, really, I had my little brother here, so if it was supposed to be something we did as more than friends then it was a terrible idea.

No, it was just us hanging out as friends. That's what I drilled into my parents' heads before they left and that's what I was going to force myself to believe.

He might've asked me out, but this was not a date. This was in no way, shape, or form a date.

When the doorbell finally rang I had to take a few calming breaths before I could even consider getting up from the couch. Kevin was scrambling out of my lap and already heading to the door, and I didn't even have time to finish my preparation before he reached up and turned the knob.

"Hey, little man."

I darted off of the couch and stood behind my brother, "Kevin, you're not supposed to open the door for people you don't know."

"He's Embwe," he looked up at me with pouty lips and a scrunched up nose.

I scooped him up in my arms and let him hang off of my hip, forcing myself to look up, "Yeah, but he could've been a bad guy too. Next time let me do it."

Embry smiled at me as he leaned against the doorway, dressed in dark washed jeans and a simple black t-shirt. The color of the shirt made his skin stand out, and I tried not to stare at the bulging muscles on his arms that looked like they would rip the sleeve at any given time.

"He could've been the Green Goblin coming to destroy you and you wouldn't even know it," I looked to Embry, raising an eyebrow at him to try to get him to catch on. He stared at me in that intense way that he always did, barely even paying attention to what I was saying, "Right, Embry?" I kicked his shin so he would snap out of it. My foot soon began to throb from the simple maneuver.

His eyes darted down to his leg before he looked back up again, clearing his throat, "Uh, yeah, right. Never open the door for strangers. It's some advice I got from Spiderman. He didn't listen once and almost got beaten up because of it."

"Spiduhman?" my brother's eyes lit up.

Embry finally took a step inside the house, his gaze landing on Kevin, "Yeah, him and I are buddies. He taught me how to scale buildings and take out bad guys."

I laughed, "Sissy, your friend knows Spiduhman?" Kevin cupped his hand around my ear and whispered to me, and I heard Embry chuckle.

"Apparently, he does," I closed the door and set Kevin on his feet again, watching him scurry over to his toys before turning back to Embry, "Thanks for that. I'm warning you though, he's a maniac when it comes to Spiderman, so be prepared to answer millions of questions on your supposed friendship with him."

"Hey, we are friends. He came over to my house before and brought these," he held up a few DVDs in his hands.

"Oh, really? His cartoons? How nice of him."

Kevin ran back over to us with a couple of action figures in his hands, standing directly in front of Embry, "What's that?" he asked, pointing to the DVDs.

"See, now he's going to latch onto you," I whispered to him.

"Fine with me. Maybe I'll have someone on my side the next time you insult me then."

"I doubt it, he's known me longer."

"Well, I'm friends with Spiderman so I think that means I win," he smirked at me and handed one of the DVDs over to Kevin.

I glared at him, feeling more relaxed now than I did before. I could see that a pattern was starting to form. Every time I talked to Embry it seemed to happen where I would initially freak out and then things would be completely fine after the conversation started. It was strange how simply him being here could ease my nerves and wash my worries away.

"Sissy, can we watch these! Pwease!" Kevin tugged on my arms as he jumped up and down happily.

I broke my eye contact with Embry and nodded to my brother, "Yeah, we can watch it until you fall asleep."

"I don't want to fall asleep."

I rolled my eyes and shook my head as I looked back at Embry, "He always claims that he's not tired. Every single time I ask him he says no and then five seconds later he's knocked out."

He laughed, "My friend's niece does the same thing."

"Really?"

He nodded, "Claire always asks for Quil. She only falls asleep when he's around. Otherwise, she kicks and screams about it, which bugs the shi- uh, stuff, out of her parents."

I popped the DVD into the DVD player and sat on the couch next to Embry, "Quil? Is he her brother or something?"

"No, not exactly. It's a bit hard to explain."

"Oh," I sunk back into the cushions and stared up at him, my eyes grazing over every inch of his face. I wanted to ask him more, to delve into more conversations about his family and friends and his life in general. I was always interested in learning more about him. However, I didn't have a chance to ask much of anything when Kevin sat right in the small space between the two of us.

"Play it now!" he demanded.

"Yeah, play it now!" Embry sneered at me.

I pressed the play button as I shot daggers at him, "I'm sorry, I didn't realize we had two four year olds in the house."

"Shh, it's starting," he whispered with a finger held up to his smiling lips.

I rolled my eyes and looked at the television as the cartoon began. I didn't pay attention to what was on the screen, and the whole time I just watched as my brother whispered questions to Embry and the two of them reacted to certain parts together. It was amusing to me, and I felt myself fill with warmth from the sight of it.

After about fifteen minutes of watching Spiderman catch bad guys and swing from webs, Kevin managed to doze off right in Embry's lap. He didn't seem to mind it one bit, and began to rub his back in a soothing way that made the flutter of wings in my stomach quicken its pace.

"I told you he would crash," I whispered.

His eyes met mine and he grinned, "I think he might actually like me."

"You think?" I asked rhetorically.

We both sat there in silence, the cartoons posing as background music. I couldn't stop staring at the scene right before my eyes, a scene that I would store in my head for the rest of my days. Seeing how Embry treated my brother made me like the person he was even more. It made the whole plan to be just friends seem entirely moronic.

"I should bring him upstairs," I said.

"I got it," he picked Kevin up in his arms easily and I followed quietly behind him. I directed him to where Kevin's room was and pulled the sheets back once we were there. Embry gently placed him on the bed and I tucked him in, placing a kiss on his forehead before turning out the lights and leaving. I leaned up against the wall right outside the door so that I was facing Embry, whose stance mimicked mine.

"Thank you," I crossed my arms over my chest, "for offering to come over and everything."

"You're welcome," he replied, the warmth of his skin radiating off of him, "Do you want to watch a movie?"

I shrugged, "As long as it's not some chick flick. I hate those."

"Seriously? You don't strike me as a chick flick hater."

I snorted, "I'm not into watching that fluffy stuff. It makes me nauseous."

He stood up straight and I did the same, the two of us heading back to the living room, "Not a hopeless romantic I see."

"I guess not. I mean, I don't know," I glanced his way before looking straight ahead of us, "I could be."

After debating between two different horror films that were on TV we settled on The Collector, which I had never seen before. Embry said it was actually pretty disgusting and made him cringe when he first saw it, and after the first half hour I agreed with him one hundred percent. There was blood and intestines and cats being mauled and blood curdling screams and I was squirming the whole time. I wasn't usually scared when it came to horror films, but this one had me glancing over Embry's shoulder every two seconds to be sure no one was going to come in here and set up traps all over the exits.

I'm pretty sure that's half of the reason why he was so adamant about watching it, because he knew I would freak out and found pleasure in watching me do it. Either that or he was doing what every guy did while watching a scary movie with a girl, looking for an excuse to cuddle right up next to her to calm her fears.

When his hand inched towards mine on the couch I didn't know that's what he was planning to do. It wasn't until his hand was on top of mine that I became aware of his plans. Suddenly, I was no longer paying attention to the gore before my eyes, I was focused on him.

His fingers made their way up my wrist before settling on my forearm. I looked down to where the bumps were beginning to rise on my skin, barely having time to think before I was being pulled underneath the crook of his arm. I stiffened for the first few seconds that I was surrounded by his warmth, not exactly knowing how to react. Then I became much more comfortable and open to the idea, and I was soon resting my head on his chest, my hand grabbing the one that he had wrapped around my waist.

We watched the rest of the movie that way…well, we watched it absentmindedly at least. I know I couldn't pay attention to what was happening anymore. I could only concentrate on his breath on my neck and the way he smelled like cologne and pine needles.

There were no more questions or doubts running through my mind, and my heart was settled as well as my butterfly-filled stomach. I felt completely content with how things were. In a way I felt whole, and I didn't ponder the reasoning behind the feeling one bit. For the first time in my life I felt that this thing between us, this connection, could not be taken away from me. His open arms, his comfort and adoration, were something I was always going to be guaranteed. It was the only thing I could count on in this world filled with cancer and uncertain paths that lie ahead.

Once the movie was over the two of us didn't make any attempt to move at all, and we settled into a comfortable silence. I closed my eyes and allowed myself to enjoy this moment right here. I didn't think about the past and what I've been through. I didn't think about odds or measures of time. I became indulged in the present and forgot about the rest.

He rested his cheek on top of my head and twined our fingers, my body rising and falling each time he took a breath. I didn't know what this meant, or if it even meant anything at all. I just knew that we were sitting together in each other's arms and it felt right, to hell with the rest.

I was unsure of how long we stayed that way. Maybe it was just minutes or maybe it was an hour. My eyes stayed closed the whole time, and I never paid attention to anything but the feeling of his warm skin. I could feel myself beginning to drift off, and I tried my hardest to keep my mind focused so that I wouldn't fall asleep. It became more and more difficult to do as time ticked on.

"Are you sleeping?" he whispered after another minute of silence.

"Yeah," I mumbled.

"Some hostess you are, falling asleep when you have a guest over," I felt him shift beneath me.

"Sorry, it's your fault for being such a good pillow."

He chuckled lightly, and in less than a second I was no longer sitting on the couch, my weight supported by his arms. I opened my eyes halfway to see that he was carrying me towards the stairs.

"Put me down you freak," my voice was way too soft to make that actually sound like some sort of argument or protest against what he was doing.

"Damn, so hostile. I like it."

I stared at the smug smile he was wearing, "Don't act like you're not intimidated by me."

"Believe me, I am," his eyes settled on mine, "A girl who weighs about eighty pounds and is about a foot shorter than me is really intimidating."

"I don't weigh eighty pounds."

"Really? 'Cause you feel like you do."

He carried me all the way to my room, placing me down on my bed. I looked up at him, having to crane my neck to actually see his face because he was so tall. His eyes scanned the four walls of my room before landing on me again.

"I put you in here to sleep, now sleep," he demanded.

I did feel tired, but I still didn't want to listen to him, "I can't sleep. What if Kevin wakes up?"

He shrugged, putting his hands in the pockets of his jeans, "If I hear him I'll wake you up."

"But-,"

"Ali, shut up."

I did as I was told, clamping my mouth shut. As I fluffed my pillow and rested my head on top of it I kept my eyes on him, wondering why he was still standing there.

"Will you at least sit down? I don't think I can sleep with you standing over me like that the whole time."

He smiled at me as he lowered himself onto the bed, "If you insist."

His huge body took up more than half of the bed, and the close quarters forced me to be smashed up against his side. Believe me, it was not my choice….there was no other way we could both fit…

Yeah…sure…

"Purple walls, I never would've guessed," he wrapped his arm around my shoulders and I closed my eyes again.

"Purple is a great color."

"Your favorite."

"Yup," I breathed in his scent that was now completely surrounding me, "You've never told me what yours is, you know."

Even with my eyes closed I could feel that his were fixed on me, penetrating me like they had the other day, "Green."

Green.

The color swirled before my eyelids, and as I drifted off to sleep it was the only thing I could concentrate on. I dreamed of green trees blowing in the wind, and I smelled the sweet aroma of green grass. I dreamed of a world full of green, a world that was peaceful and serene. A world that included Embry and nothing else.

**I'm pretty sure the next chapter will be in Embry's POV. Simply because I think it would be good to hear from him. Also, there is something in her room that will change the dynamic of things a little bit...anyone know what it is? **

**Yes, this chapter was very long. All of my chapters are long. I keep wondering if I should make them shorter or not, but when I think about updates on here and all of the people who wait for them (well not necessarily wait but you get the point) I think it's better to write a lot so that you guys are tied over until the next update. I'm not sure if you guys like the length or not. And I always ask for opinions on this so if you feel like it let me know.**

**Also, I just want to clarify that Amaya is 18 years old in this and Caleb was 18 when he died. So Amaya already graduated high school before the tumors. I really am loving the way her character is turning out. She seems to be the moral compass of the story to me...**

**And one more important thing. Lately I have been really annoyed when I read over my stuff and I see that I write 'ok' instead of 'okay' in the story. it's pissing me off, so I'm pretty sure I'm going to go through the previous chapters and change all of the 'oks' to 'okays' instead because it just sounds better when you read it that way. **

**Okay?**

**Okay. **

**(SOBS UNCONTROLLABLY)  
**

**Sorry this AN was so damn long. I always seem to rant...**

**REVIEW!**


	6. 5 Her Universe

**Another update! I'm sorry this one is a little later than the others. It was a holiday weekend so I spent it the way everyone else was...working. Well, that's not completely true. I did get to spend time with my family on the 4th, but I was exhausted! I did most of the cooking for the party we had...bleh**

**Okay, I'm done talking about my weekend. **

**Thank you for the reviews! I know most people were enjoying the 4th (those of us in the U.S. at least) so I'm grateful to those people who decided to leave a review!**

**Not much else to say except a bit of a warning since this chapter includes profanities, but this story is rated M so everyone reading should be okay with that. (I hope)**

**Embry's POV took me a while to conjure up. I was confused as to where to go with it, but then his character led the way. It's funny the way that works when you're writing...**

**Okay, enough of me. PLEASE READ ON!**

"_She wasn't doing a thing that I could see, except standing there, leaning on the balcony railing, holding the universe together." –J.D. Salinger_

Chapter 5

Her Universe

**Embry's POV**

I stared at the smiling face of the girl that was currently lying beside me. If the eyes in the photos didn't match hers I would've said they were two completely different people. To my discomfort, the green and brown speckled irises of the eyes that I saw in the photographs were the same ones I had been looking into earlier.

My harsh glare burned through the pictures, and I could feel my hands begin to tremble as I continued to study them. I should've tried to control the tremor for her sake, but looking at her smiling in someone else's arms was enough for me to lose my train of thought. Seeing her kissing him on the cheek and even on the lips had me wanting to find the asshole and beat him to a pulp.

She didn't belong with him. She belonged with_ me_.

I felt her move beside me as she slept soundly, her body shifting so that she was facing me. Her arm draped over my abdomen and I went rigid from the contact only for a second. When I peeled my eyes off of the pictures long enough to see the content look on her face, I willed myself to get my anger under control. The only thing that really stopped the shaking was seeing her and the state we were currently in.

Even though she didn't think of me as anything more than a friend she was still here lying beside me. She was with me and not with him. That had to mean something.

As if to prove my point even more, I clutched her tighter to me, silently claiming her as mine even though my competition was merely a guy in a photograph. I didn't even know who he was, but the fact that she had loved him once…or still did love him made my gut wrench in an extremely uncomfortable way. She said before that she didn't have a boyfriend. Then again, she never really did answer my question when I had asked her if she had an ex boyfriend either. None of it made sense…

My eyes made their way back to the photographs again, and after_ really_ looking at them my jaw clenched and I began to feel sick. There were definitely a ton of differences between the girl in the pictures and the one I was holding, that was not even a question. Now that I see what those differences are I don't even know what to make of them.

The Ali that I knew looked vibrant all the time, and she had a smile that was unforgettable, a smile that was as beautiful as the sunset. The Ali that I knew had a glint in her eyes every time I saw her. She laughed easily, blushed often, and didn't take shit from anyone, not even a jackass like me.

The girl in the photographs looked fragile, like the slightest touch would cause her to crumble to pieces. She looked sickly, void of any energy, with a smile that seemed forced, almost painful in a way. It was hard to believe that she and Ali were one and the same.

Then there was the scarf over her head.

I swallowed the growing lump in my throat, closing my eyes as if it would make it all disappear. It did nothing though. The images seeped into my brain before I could stop them, and they did not want to be ignored.

What does this even mean?

I'm not even sure I want to answer that. If I looked deeper into it all I knew I would figure it out. It was laid out in front of me, staring straight at me, but I would not let myself become consumed by my itching curiosity to know the truth. The truth could wait for now. The only thing that mattered was knowing that in this moment the undeniably beautiful girl that had changed my life completely was with me. She was here and she was okay. She was mine.

And yet she wasn't. Not even close.

I buried my nose into her hair and took in her sweet strawberry scent, the smell easing my nerves. There was no way to know if we would be this close to each other if she were awake right now. It's been a challenge to figure her out. Yeah, she might've let me hold her before, she might've told me to lay here with her, but did it really mean something more than friendly gestures to her?

I hoped that it did. Anyone in my position would.

Why was she so hesitant about all of it then? There had to be a reason for it.

My eyes made their way back to the pictures again, darting between each one. Was _he_ the reason?

It was highly plausible no matter how much I wanted to deny it. That shouldn't matter to me though. If she did still love him and only wanted to be friends with me it shouldn't be an issue. She was my imprint. I would be happy if she was happy. If being with him made her happy, then it was wrong of me to try to stand in the way of that.

We could be friends if that's what she wants. I could live with just being friends.

_Yeah, sure you can..._

Faintly, I could hear the sound of a car pulling into the driveway. My eyes widened and I looked at the alarm clock on the side of the bed, realizing it was already past midnight. How long had I been glaring at those damn pictures for?

I nudged Ali lightly, running my palm up and down the small of her back to try to wake her easily.

"Alyssa," I poked her after my first attempts failed, "Ali."

She mumbled incoherently, her hand swatting mine away. I chuckled at the disturbed look on her face, running my thumb over her forehead to smooth out the lines there.

"Wake up," I probably should've sped things up a bit since I could hear the car doors closing from here. I didn't want her to leave my arms though, "Your parents are here."

She started mumbling again, exhaling with a smile on her face as she clutched me tighter. The girl slept like a damn rock.

"You're drooling," I wiped the side of her mouth to make my words seem more believable. Even that wouldn't wake her. I figured since she was prone to become easily embarrassed that that would pry her eyes open. She didn't even move.

There was one more thing I could try.

I tilted her chin up and placed a kiss on her freckled cheek, repeating the action on the other one in the same spot.

Finally, she came alive again, her eyes meeting mine immediately.

"What the-,"

"Your parents are home," I placed another kiss on the tip of her nose before rising from the bed, smirking at the dazed look on her face.

Okay, so the kissing was a bit much. It definitely wasn't very _friendly_ of me, but there was no way I could resist. I had been tempted to do much more than that the whole freaking night. She was lucky I didn't just kiss her right on the lips.

Who wants to kiss their soul mate for the first time while they're barely awake though?

That's right, absolutely no one.

Plus, I wasn't about to kiss her when I didn't even know if I had permission to do so. I didn't want it to turn into a whole Bella Swan situation.

God no…

"W-What?" I could see the heat rising to her cheeks.

Before I could respond the sound of the front door opening and closing resonated through the house. I chucked my thumb over my shoulder, watching as her eyes widened in horror.

"Shit," she cursed quietly as she stumbled out of bed, running her hands through her short hair as she stood across from me, "Well, this is going to be fun to explain."

"I can jump out the window if you want me to."

I could hear rumbling and talking, "What and commit suicide? It's the second floor," she grabbed my arm and dragged me along, or I made her believe she was dragging me along at least, as she made her way towards the door.

I chuckled and pulled my arm out of her grasp, grabbing her hand instead because I knew it would annoy her. I found it very satisfying when her pulse began to speed up. It let me know that the bond that had been formed the moment our eyes met for the first time was not something that was one sided. She felt the connection just as much as I did. She stopped walking and turned around towards me, her eyes flickering between our intertwined hands and my face.

She looked at me like she was ready to rip my head off. It was amusing to me. In a way, she looked even more beautiful with her face scrunched up in that way and her eyes narrowed at me.

"You're not helping the situation, Embry," she flapped her arm around to try to get her hand out of mine, and I complied with her unspoken demand and let go, "My parents are already going to assume the worst."

She grabbed the door and opened it a crack, "Which is what?" I bent down and whispered right up to her ear.

She shook her head in annoyance and walked out of the room, never looking back at me as she headed out into the hallway. I followed behind her obediently and smiled at the fact that she kept her arms crossed so that I couldn't make another move to grab her hand again. Although she seemed like she hated me at the moment her pulse told me differently. It was the only confirmation I needed to know that I hadn't crossed a line. Hell, it was the only tool I had that I could use to efficiently decipher her true feelings for me, which was great in its own way.

When we made it down the stairs her parents were putting their coats in the closet, talking amongst themselves.

"Did everything go okay?" her mom asked without looking up.

"Uh, yeah. It was actually really great," Ali sounded a bit nervous and I was tempted to wrap my arm around her to try to calm her, but I clenched my hands into fists at my sides so that I wouldn't do it, "Embry was a big help."

"That's-," her mom finally saw me standing there, her words getting caught in her throat. Her dad seemed a lot less shocked to see me when he finally turned around. I could only think that it was my height that was throwing her off…unless she already didn't like me.

"Mom, this is my _friend_, Embry Call."

The word friend stung much more than it should've. I should be okay with being considered just her friend. That should be enough for me.

Except it wasn't.

I held out my hand, feeling a bit disappointed when her mom didn't immediately shake it, "Hi, I'm Embry. It's nice to meet you," even though you look about as comfortable as a person getting a root canal…

She flinched as soon as our hands touched, and she shook mine lightly, barely making any movement, "It's nice to meet you too, Embry," Are you sure it is? "Ali's told me a lot about you," She smiled at me, but I could tell she wasn't too thrilled about me being here.

"Has she?" I looked down at Ali, noticing the tinge of red on her cheeks as she bowed her head.

"I thought you would've been gone by now. It's already past midnight," her dad looked confused.

"Yeah, well, we were studying for a huge quiz we have on Monday after Kevin went to sleep, and I guess we just lost track of time."

Ali looked at me out of the corner of her eye, her muscles relaxing after I had told the most believable lie that I could manage, "Yeah, Embry kind of sucks at calculus."

She grinned at her parents and I rolled my eyes and shook my head, continuing on with the web we were spinning, "Thanks for the confidence booster."

"You're welcome," she patted my back and I heard her father chuckle from in front of us. At least one of them liked me.

"Well, it's nice to meet you, Embry," I shook her father's hand.

"You too," I looked over at her mother again, who seemed to be analyzing ever move I made with her dark eyes. I didn't know why she seemed to already hate me. Maybe she had heard things about me, about the legends. I knew she wasn't on the council, but that didn't mean she didn't speculate things about us. It wasn't like I wasn't used to it.

"I should really be going," I nodded my head in the direction of the door.

"I'll walk you out," Ali grinned at me.

I waved a quick goodbye to her parents and walked my way through the living room with her right beside me. When I was through the door she followed me out, closing it behind her and immediately wrapping her arms around herself to protect her from the cold.

I took a couple steps closer to her and rubbed my hands over her arms to warm her up. She smiled at me gratefully, her lips slightly wobbling.

It took a lot of willpower to not kiss her in that moment. God damn it those things were going to be the death of me. I could not stand here and just look at them all puckered like that. Why the hell did they have to look so delicious and kissable?

It would be better if she were lipless.

"Thanks again," I managed to pry my eyes away from her trembling mouth, "for coming over. Tonight would've been much worse if you weren't there."

"I'm glad you enjoyed my company," do not look at her lips. Do not look at her lips, "It was an extremely productive night. I think I understand calculus a lot more now."

She laughed and shook her head, "I don't mean to brag, but I'm probably the best tutor you will ever have. I should be charging you for these sessions."

"Yeah, I've never really had a tutor who's fallen asleep on me before. It's a brilliant way to teach others how to solve limits. Next time I'll bring money with me."

Her hazel eyes grazed over my face and she smiled widely, her light complexion contrasting with the darkness around us, "It'll be twenty dollars per minute."

I dropped my hands down to my sides before hiding them in the pockets of my jeans, resisting the overwhelming urge to pull her to me and kiss her senseless. She looked down to where my hands now resided before meeting my gaze.

"I guess I'll see you on Monday then," she said, a hint of disappointment lining her words…or at least what I thought was disappointment.

"Yeah," I let out a long sigh. I hated that I had to go a whole day without seeing her again, "see you on Monday."

I reluctantly turned around and moved towards the steps, my stomach churning like violent waves during a storm. It was difficult to take even a few steps further away from her, because the more steps I took the heavier I felt. How have I managed to do this every day for the past week without going insane? It felt like I would lose my marbles at any given time simply because I was no longer within five feet of her.

Imprinting was a cruel son of a bitch.

"Embry," my whole body stopped moving without having to be told to do so.

I turned around and faced her again, my brows casting down over my eyes, "Yeah?"

She had a look of determination in her eyes, and as she moved closer to me I felt lighter again. When her chest was practically up against mine I was completely weightless, floating in her universe freely, her presence acting as my anchor and preventing me from drifting off into space.

She rose onto her toes, her face nearly level with mine, and kissed me on the cheek before kissing my nose just as I had done to her before. If I hadn't been entirely dumbfounded by the gesture I would've moved so that she kissed my lips instead. But I wasn't that slick and I wasn't smart enough to come up with the idea that quickly.

"Goodnight," she whispered, smiling at me before heading for the door again.

I couldn't let her go in that house without an explanation. That was not something you just do to a guy who is falling in love with you without some sort of reasoning for doing so. She was so damn confusing, "What the hell was that?" play it cool shit head.

Her hand was on the door knob as she looked at me over her shoulder, shrugging casually, "Just something to let you know that you're not the only one who can do that."

I still didn't get it, "Do what?"

She opened the door and stepped inside the house, "Surprise people."

And then she was gone, her face no longer in my line of vision.

Yeah, being just friends was definitely _not _an option.

* * *

"Embry! Quil's here!"

I didn't respond since I was too engrossed in trying to destroy the asshole robot in my way. I had been doing this all morning long without much success at this point. Quil sucked at this worse than I did so I'm sure he wouldn't be much help.

"You do realize your mom is out there trying to knit you a sweater don't you?"

I glanced at him for a second before looking back at the screen, "Why do you think I've been hiding in here all day? Knitting has become her new obsession and I can't say I understand why," my thumbs hit the buttons on the controller fiercely as I managed to catch the robot off guard, "Die asshole die!"

Quil flopped down onto my bed and sighed, "Why can't it be food again? At least with her fudge making obsession we got to eat the stuff."

My mom was a hobby jumper. She read these magazines all the time that supposedly talked about the latest trends and what's in and what's out. Every once and a while she would pick up a new hobby, joining clubs around Port Angeles to keep her busy on the weekends and talking my ear off about the crap. If the writers of those damn things actually thought knitting was in style then they were sorely mistaken.

I guess I couldn't complain though, it did stop her constant nagging about my whereabouts all the time.

"Yes! I won! Take that you metallic goon!" I pumped my fists in the air after I finally completed the mission.

"Metallic goon?"

I threw the controller onto the floor and turned my chair so it was facing Quil, "Where's Jake?"

He laughed and sat up, "Do you really need me to answer that?"

No, I didn't, nor did I want him to.

After Jake had imprinted on the devil spawn -otherwise known as Edward and Bella's half bloodsucker offspring- he had been spending all of his time at the Cullen's house. Okay, that wasn't a terrible thing. I mean don't get me wrong I was happy for him; I just didn't think his happiness would be at the expense of our friendship. It wasn't enough that the pack was split; he had barely talked to either of us in weeks.

"Sam still wants us to keep a close eye on them, just as a precaution."

I rolled my eyes, "Screw them and their endless amount of issues."

Could you tell I was bitter?

"I have to go meet up with Jared in an hour to head over there," Quil looked thrilled, "I saw Seth earlier."

"You mean the Cullen's lap dog?" I grabbed the controller from the floor and threw it to Quil, switching spots with him so he could continue the game he had saved from earlier.

"That's who I'm referring to," he rolled his eyes and shook his head, "He went on and on about how stupid it was for us to hate them, as if his explanation would somehow make us into bloodsucker lovers like him."

"He's about as bad as Jake," I grabbed my phone from the spot I had left it in, reading over the text Ali sent me.

**Pudding or jello? **

We had been texting back and forth, asking each other random either or questions all morning.

**Jello, **I replied.

"I think Seth's worse in a way. At least Jake still refers to them as bloodsuckers."

"But he didn't imprint on one."

Another message, **Pudding for me. **

**Chocolate or vanilla?**

Quil looked at me over his shoulder, his eyes going to the phone in my hands, "Speaking of imprints, how's yours?"

**Chocolate of course. Glass half empty or half full?**

"She's fine."

**Half full. Superman or Batman?**

"Oh God you have 'the look' on your face." Quil smirked at me.

"No I don't. I'm not like the others."

I knew what 'look' he was referring to. It was the one that Jared and Sam had on their faces every time Kim and Emily walked through the door that included a sappy smile and googly eyes. I hated 'the look'. I despised 'the look'. Frankly, 'the look' could go jump off a cliff and I would feel ecstatic about it.

There was no way in hell I possessed the muscles in my face to produce 'the look'.

**Batman. TV shows or movies?**

"You're exactly like the others. Jesus Christ you're salivating all over your phone! Wipe your mouth!"

I glared at him, letting out a low growl, "Fuck off."

"Don't take it as a bad thing," he laughed, "It's better now that you've imprinted too. Finally you've found a girl who isn't brainless and puts up with your bullshit."

I flipped him off and went back to my text message, trying not to think about the countless number of girls I had hooked up with before meeting Ali. I hadn't thought about any of that for the past week, my mind too consumed with her to care. Now that Quil managed to bring it up I began to feel nauseous when I thought about how terrible all of those dumb broads were compared to Ali. They were after one thing just like I was, and I wasn't the type to stop them from getting what they wanted.

I wasn't a manwhore like Paul, because honestly he fucked anything that had a vagina, but I will admit that I had had sex with random girls from time to time. To be frank, up until now I didn't care about having a girlfriend or a long lasting relationship with a girl. I was fine with the occasional hook up without any emotions attached.

Meeting Ali changed all of that.

I mean, I had imprinted on her, of course it changed things. I couldn't look at the world in the same way I had before. I saw the world through her. I was now living for her.

I should be angry about it, because in all honesty living for someone you had never met before was pretty fucked up. I should be running for the hills and trying my hardest to not let it control me, because I had never intended to be tied down. I always thought that I was meant to be the one who didn't imprint, the one who ended up living alone and without responsibilities. It wasn't until I talked to her for the first time that I realized how shitty my plans were.

When I saw her on Monday in photography I was initially freaked out about the whole thing. She was not the type of girl I would've gotten to know on my own. If it weren't for imprinting I probably would've never even talked to her. I know it's cruel and it makes me sound like an ass, but if you hadn't figured it out already I was kind of an ass.

After she had walked out of the darkroom that day I was ready to run and resist the imprint. I wasn't used to this, and I didn't know if I could handle it. Quil had to do a lot of coaxing to get me to go out there, and I cannot tell you how reluctant I was to face her. As soon as I saw her for a second time though, with her camera up to her eye and that beautiful smile on her face, I knew I could not run from this. And when she spoke to me in that melodic voice, I was a goner, already forgetting about becoming a permanent bachelor and dying alone. Now all I could think about was talking to her more and more and trying to find out as much about her as possible.

She kept me on my toes, that's for sure. She was the complete opposite of every other girl I have ever known. She saw the world in a different perspective, and she didn't just consider me a cocky bastard who just happened to be good looking. She was as complex as they come, and I felt compelled to peel back every one of her layers until I would finally know exactly who she is.

**TV shows. Forest or beach?**

I think that's what puts her above everyone else, the fact that she could see I wasn't just a 'conceited jerk', as I put it. All the other girls I have ever known didn't seem to even try to get to know who I really was. They just saw that I was attractive and didn't give a shit about the rest. I mean it was probably because they didn't stick around long enough to figure it out, but still, there was something to be said about a girl who could call you out on your bullshit and expose you for the person you really are.

**Forest. How about you?**

And she liked the forest better than the beach. Who the hell wouldn't like a girl who liked being surrounded by trees better than being surrounded by sand?

**Forest, **I agreed with her.

"I'm going to puke," Quil made fake gagging sounds from in front of me.

I clenched my jaw and got up from the bed, moving over to where he was sitting before going up to the Xbox and unplugging it.

"What the fuck!"

I threw the cord in his face and dodged the fist he threw at me. The huge vein in his forehead that always popped out when he was pissed made itself known, and I laughed as I went back to my spot on the bed.

"Asshole," he threw the controller at me and I didn't even try to stop it because I was too caught up in my laughing fit. The thing hit my shoulder and I fell back on the mattress, clutching my sides as tears sprung from my eye, "Keep laughing, Call. Next thing you know that controller will be stuck up your ass."

"Will you have the pleasure of sticking it up there?" I heard my phone vibrate beside me and went to grab it, but Quil's hand was suddenly on top of it, snatching it before I got the chance.

"What do we have here? A new text message from your imprint?"

"Don't even think about it."

"Fruits or vegetables….what the hell is that supposed to mean?"

I kicked him in the gut, but it didn't really do much of anything, "If you so much as think about saying some messed up shit back to her I will-,"

"Okay," he opened the phone and began typing away.

"Quil you fucktard!"

"I would just like you to know that I am obsessed with you and was wondering if you would-,"

"Quil!"

"-if you would like to go out on a date with me so that I could kiss you and then hopefully have sex with you-,"

"I am going to_ kill_ you!"

"-and then marry you and have babies with you-,"

I tackled him from behind, causing him to fall off the bed and onto the floor. The phone flew out of his hands and he began laughing hysterically just as I had laughed at him two seconds earlier. I socked him in the jaw, but it wasn't hard enough to do any real damage to him. The purple bruise was already changing color as it healed itself.

"Ha ha, you're a riot," I slammed my elbow into his chest, managing to knock the wind out of him. He recovered quickly and continued to laugh.

I grabbed my phone from the floor and deleted everything he wrote, my fingers trembling from the wave of anger that overcame me.

"Admit it, you're just like the rest of them, completely obsessed with her."

"I'm not obsessed with her," I put the phone in my back pocket, "I'm just trying to get to know her."

"Sure," he got up and brushed off his khaki shorts for no reason, "because thinking about her all the time and picturing her kissing you doesn't make you obsessed. Do you not realize that I have complete access to your demented brain?"

"So what if I do think about her? That doesn't mean I'm obsessed. At least I don't put on tiaras all the time and twirl around in tutus to make my imprint stop crying."

He clamped his mouth shut, a look of embarrassment flitting across his face, "If that's what made her happy I'm sure you would do it."

I shrugged, my thoughts going back to last night and the pictures I had the misfortune of laying eyes on, "I don't know if I would go as far as that…but yeah, I would choose to do whatever makes her happy."

The room became silent for a couple minutes, and I'm sure he was thinking of Claire just as I was thinking of Ali. We became lost in the thought of our imprints.

I wondered if it would be good to bring up the pictures to Quil. I mean he was really one of the only people who I could talk to about it. If Jake were around I would ask him for advice, because he was honestly better at it than Quil. I guess I would just have to settle for the blabbering idiot this time around.

"I saw these pictures in her room last night," I said, "of her and some guy. She was kissing him in one of them and she looked happy," Quil looked at me with his eyebrows furrowed, "I'd be kidding myself if I said I didn't feel a bit jealous of him."

"Have you asked her about it?"

I shrugged, "I asked if she had a boyfriend before and she said no, but when I asked if she had an ex boyfriend she didn't really say anything. She told me she had to leave, like she didn't want to talk about it. What does that even mean? Is she in the process of breaking up with him or something? I mean the pictures were right there, right in front of my face. If they weren't together she would've taken them down."

He nodded in understanding, "Yeah that would be the most logical thing to do. I don't know man, girls are confusing as hell, and I've been hanging around Claire too much to even know what I could say to help you."

See what I mean? He's terrible at giving advice.

"If I were you I would just ask her about it again."

I sighed and rubbed my palm over my face, "Wouldn't that make me look a bit creepy though? I mean we're just friends," for now, "I can't be accusing her of things if we're not even together."

"You wouldn't be accusing her of anything," he stared at one of the Call of Duty posters on my walls, "If you just went about it the right way, then it wouldn't seem like an accusation. Maybe if you told her about all of your past relationships you could lead into talking about hers. Or should I say your past booty calls…"

I glared at him, "Don't even start with me on that."

"If you were being really honest you would just tell her you think with your dick more than your actual brain."

"Well at least I have one. Yours seems to have turned into a vagina filled with fairy dust and unicorns."

His nostrils flared and I could tell he was shaking from here, "You're really asking for it aren't you?"

I chuckled, amused by the constipated look on his face, "Don't you love having me as your best friend?"

"Actually, no. Not really," he grabbed another video game from the shelf beside my bed and walked back to the chair in front of the television, "Just try to figure it out, Embry. If it helps, I don't really think you have to worry."

If only I could find it in me to believe him.

* * *

The whole week had gone by in a flash, and soon enough it was already Friday. I hadn't mustered up enough courage to ask Ali about the guy in the pictures just yet. I had been building up to it and had tried to find the right things to say to get into it, but the timing never seemed right. Okay, that was a lie. I was just being a complete pussy about the whole thing.

I mean, really, it wouldn't change much if she was still in love with him. I would just have to step off a bit if that were the case. As if that was an easy thing for me to do…

She had come over to my house to help me with calculus every day this week, and I had acted like my usual self, joking around with her and paying her compliments like I always did. She still seemed hesitant every time I got a bit too affectionate, which kind of threw me off and made me worry about my possible competition from the photographs.

After patrol last night I had gotten an earful from Quil about the whole thing, and after a bunch of nagging he had finally convinced me to get on with it today. So that's what I was going to do. I was going to ask about it.

We were currently sprawled out on the couch in my living room, both of us on our respected sides of the couch with our calculus books in our laps. She was practically curled up in a ball on her side with her pencil hanging from her mouth and her eyes fixed on the book. I stretched my legs out in front of me, my ankle touching her right hip and her feet touching my knee. Her whole body tensed up when I did it, and I smiled in delight at the sound of her heartbeat quickening.

I peered up at her over my notebook and watched as she shook her head and went back to focusing on her homework. My pencil moved across the paper as I outlined the shape of her lips, making them look full and delicious. I could feel her eyes trained on me as I continued my drawing, and I didn't even try to cover up what I was doing. I knew that she hated it when I lost focus, but I couldn't really lose focus on something I hadn't been paying attention to in the first place.

"Did you finish number forty two?" she asked.

I nodded as I colored in her pupils, "Yup."

She pursed her lips and quirked her eyebrow, obviously not believing me, "Can I see what you got?"

I smiled, "Sure."

I handed over the notebook to her and watched her carefully as she took in the drawing. Her face instantly turned red and I let out a chuckle as a look of horror suddenly took over her features.

"Embry!" she groaned, shaking her head at me, "You're such an idiot!"

"A talented idiot," I corrected her.

She threw the notebook back over to my side of the couch, covering her face with her hands to try to hide the color of her cheeks from me, "We're supposed to be getting ready for this test we have next week. Do you really want to fail?"

I nudged her lightly with my foot, "Stop hiding from me. I already know you're blushing."

She didn't listen to me, "I mean really, do you care about graduating at all? Because it seems like you only care about humiliating me."

She looked me in the eye, her tone indicating that she was completely serious. I closed my notebook and placed it on the coffee table, my thoughts going back to the questions I had to ask her. Before I could even think of getting into that I had to assure her that my life goal was not to embarrass her.

I reached my hand out and wrapped it around her ankle, which caused her to shiver. She didn't slap my hand away or do anything to indicate that I was crossing any boundaries, so I tugged her a bit towards me until she was practically sitting in my lap. Her lack of resistance to what I was doing was a good sign. Maybe I really didn't have anything to worry about.

"Was it that bad?" I asked, "Did I make your nose too big or something?"

She let out a breathy laugh and peered up at me, "No, it wasn't bad. You know I hate anything that has to do with me though."

"Yeah, you're not good at being the center of attention."

She grinned a bit wider, "Not even the center of your attention."

"Well, get used to it, because I'm going to be drawing lots of pictures of you from here on out."

She blushed again and leaned into me. I grabbed her hand that was resting on my stomach and intertwined our fingers, trying to see how she reacted. Like always, her heart raced and her body went rigid, as if she was unsure of what to do.

"Why do you do that?" I was ready to get this over with.

"Do what?" she mumbled.

She wouldn't look at me, keeping her eyes on the couch as I spoke, "You always hesitate. I grab your hand and you get all uncomfortable. I hug you and you tense up. Why?"

I didn't want her to think I was accusing her of something, so I made sure my voice was gentle and quiet. I wasn't ready to have any fights with her. I needed to stay on her good side.

She shook her head repeatedly, her face contorting in confusion, "I just…I…I don't…" she stumbled over her words.

"Be honest with me," I said softly, "do you have a boyfriend or something?"

Her hand squeezed mine and I could hear her suck in a breath. I rubbed my thumb over the top of her hand to try to let her know I wasn't going to freak out or get angry if she said something I didn't want to hear. After a minute of silence she released my hand and wrapped her arms around her legs, resting her chin on her knees.

"I don't," she answered, her voice barely above a whisper, "I promise you I don't."

"I saw those pictures," I admitted, my tone still soft, "and I don't care if you love him. I just want to know the truth so I don't make a fool out of myself."

She didn't blink at all and I watched as her face began to fall the slightest bit. Her fingernails dug into her calves as she stared off into space, and I swore I saw her eyes get a bit glossy.

Now you've done it. She's going to hate you.

Just apologize and beg for her forgiveness shit head.

"I'm sorry, I shouldn't have asked," she still didn't move, "Just forget I even said anything-,"

"No," she outstretched her hand and grabbed my forearm, her eyes flicking to my face for the slightest second, "I should just tell you. You deserve to know."

"No I don't. I'm just being an ass-,"

"Embry," she took a deep breath, pursing her lips before opening her mouth to speak again, "I have to," I was about to protest again, but she covered my mouth with her hand so I couldn't do it, "Just listen," she whispered.

I studied her face closely, watching as her lips twitched upward into the ghost of a smile. She ran her hands through her hair and laid her head onto her knees while I just waited for her to begin. She mumbled a few things about getting it over with and letting go before looking me straight in the face.

"His name's Caleb, and yeah he _was_ my boyfriend, but he isn't anymore," she paused and took a deep breath before explaining more to me, "He died last November."

My breath got caught in my throat after the words left her mouth. The images of her with him were still fresh in my mind, and I let them fill my brain to torture me some more. I didn't hate the guy anymore. You can't hate someone who's dead, it was just wrong on so many levels. Now all I really felt was hatred towards myself for thinking the worst of him. I was probably the biggest asshole alive right now.

She looked at the couch again, obviously noticing the shocked look on my face, "It wasn't unexpected, but it still happened. It's taken me a long time to get over it. I'm okay now though."

"I'm sorry," all I could really do was keep apologizing to try to make up for being an ass.

"You don't have to apologize," she smiled at me, "Like I said, I'm okay now. I'm the one who should be sorry."

"What do you have to be sorry for? I'm the one who asked the dumb question."

She shrugged and rested her chin on her knees again, "I don't know, I guess I haven't exactly been all that good when it comes to figuring out my feelings towards you."

She went quiet again, and it made me crazy. Why did she have to be so mysterious all the time?

"Care to elaborate?" I grinned at her, trying to lighten the mood again.

She bit her bottom lip, and the simple maneuver caused my eyes to go to her mouth automatically. What the heck! Stop tempting me!

"It took me months before I finally realized I liked Caleb more than a friend. We had always been around each other, and we always hung out together. I mean I barely even knew I liked him when he first kissed me," I tried not to cringe at the thought of her kissing him, "you would think that _this_ would be the same way," she looked up at me, "but it's not, not at all. When I'm around you I feel like…," she stopped herself, clamping her mouth shut.

"What?" I grabbed her chin so she wouldn't be able to look away from me, practically begging her to continue.

"I feel like I've already known you for months…even years. I used to get these jittery feelings every time I kissed him. I mean like small, jittery sparks," she stared at me intensely, "when it comes to you I feel a lot more than that, and we haven't ever kissed. Just being around you does it for me. So, I guess that's why I'm so hesitant, because I'm terrified. These strong feelings that I already feel for you scare the hell out of me, and I don't know how to go about dealing with them."

I smiled at her, noticing the worry in her eyes. I figured she was probably freaking out right about now, so I was going to try my best to keep her from freaking out even more.

I let go of her chin and grabbed her hand again, squeezing it to reassure her, "I'm terrified just as much as you are."

She looked down at our hands, "You are?"

"Of course I am," I said, "I've never felt like this before either, so it's just as new for you as it is for me."

"So I'm not a total idiot?"

"Well, I wouldn't say you're a _total_ idiot."

She slapped my arm and rolled her eyes at me, "I hate you. I really do. Maybe I should just leave-,"

"Hey, you're not going anywhere," I wrapped my arms around her waist and pulled her down to me, our faces merely inches apart, "you're staying here with me," I added.

She smiled widely, "We're still friends, Embry."

"Uh, huh. You've made that abundantly clear," I kissed her on the cheek.

"We're never going to be more than friends."

"I know," I placed another kiss in the same spot.

"Seriously, stop doing that."

"Okay," I did it one more time.

The grin she was wearing didn't disappear after I had done it, which made me believe she was just spitting out lies to try to get us both to turn around and go back to being in the safety and comfort of the friend zone. I was not the type of guy that liked being friend zoned though.

"Go on a date with me," I cupped her face in my hands, still fighting the fiery urges to kiss her. If she agreed to go on a date I might be one step closer to being able to do that.

"What?" she looked at my lips, which made me wonder if she was trying to stop herself from doing the same thing I was thinking of doing.

"Go on a date with me tomorrow night," I said it again.

She puckered her lips, "A date?"

"No, a field trip. Yes, a date!"

"A field trip doesn't sound so bad."

I growled at her, "You rejected me last weekend; you can't do that to me again."

"Why not? We had fun."

"In a minute I'm just going to throw you off this couch!"

"Really?"

"No…just say yes already! I'm going to die if you don't."

"You are?"

Why must she torture me in this way?

"I'm just going to go to sleep and ignore you for the rest of my life."

I closed my eyes and let go of her hand, folding my arm over my face to conceal it from her. I could hear her laughing at me for a few minutes before she began to realize that I was serious and started shaking my arm.

"Embry!" she shouted, "Come on! You're being a baby!"

I didn't respond in any way. The longer I sat there silently for the more annoyed she got, until eventually she just gave up.

"Alright fine! I'll go on a freaking date with you! Okay? Are you happy now? You can stop pretending to sleep."

I smiled happily and squeezed her against my chest so she had no hope of ever escaping, "Jesus it took you ten minutes just to agree to go on a date with me. Maybe I'm not as charming as I thought I was."

She ran her fingers through my hair and grinned at me as she ruffled it, probably making it look like a damn rats nest now, "Oh believe me you're definitely charming."

**I hope everyone enjoyed the little bit of insight into Embry's 'demented' brain. Next chapter will be switched back to Ali's POV and will probably include this date, maybe more as well. **

**Thanks again to those who reviewed and those who gave their opinions about the length of the chapters. It really helps me out a lot :) **

**Like every other chapter I would love to hear what you think about this one, especially since it's Embry's POV! **

**Please review! :)**


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